Home Menopause Forum Relationships through the Menopause


MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 337 ✭✭✭

How are you ladies dealing with your love relationships? I find it to be difficult sometime for me. There are times I want to grab my husband and just get intimate and close (in my mind) but physically when it comes down to it my body always wins against my mind. My body gets tired or the moment I try to cuddle up to him and get intimate here comes the sweating and the heat and then I am feeling like UGH and not attractive so that gets me right out of the mood. I want to in my mind be that loving Goddess but it doesn't work that way. I am still working on trying to become more intimate and hoping soon that my body will cooperate with my mind.

Anyone else struggling in this area of intimacy with your significant other?


  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 345 mod

    Hi @MonicaM Im in a new relationship with a friend I've known 40 years. So far it's all going really well. But then we are still in the honeymoon stage :)

    I do think that at least half of the women on here will tell you they have lost all thoughts of getting close to their partners so I do think it's quite a normal feeling that you have.

    Is your husband understanding to you and Menopause? My partner asks lots of questions as he really wants to help and support me. I think the man problem is lack of understanding by men. Let's face it we don't understand it ourselves so how are men meant to x

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 337 ✭✭✭

    Hi Julie, he has been dealing with me having these issues for several years now and he knows that I am going through it but I do agree, I think he could learn a lot more about it because it frustrating to us ladies having to deal with this new part of our life's journey.

  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 345 mod

    It's really hard for men and I do think that a lot of us forgot that they don't understand what we are going through because all the symptoms are internal. If we had a broken bone they could see that and sympathise but on the outside we look normal. Men are very simple creatures lol. X

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 337 ✭✭✭

    @Julie20 I agree so true.

  • Daphne29Daphne29 Posts: 2

    Hi@MonicaM thank you for raising this issue I am the same as you and get frustrated the way my mind reminds me about my body and I close down and the result is a reduction of intimacy for the last 6 years or more . I have a pelvic condition and I worry about it getting worse too . My husband is so supportive and understanding and we have lots of cuddles and flirting but I usually call time before it gets any further . I wish I knew how to override my mind and enjoy more - thank you for sharing on here it helps to know it’s not just me 💜

  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 345 mod

    Somebody added a menopause video to the live better with Facebook page. Get partners to have a look at it as it's perfect and easy to understand. It gives a simple breakdown on what happens to our bodies. I will find it and attach it to this thread x

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 337 ✭✭✭


    Hi Daphne29 I wanted to follow up with you on the relationship conversation. Have you been able to do anything about your thoughts. Maybe we need to tell ourselves that our husbands love us and although our bodies may not be the same they are still with us and working through our issues. We have to try to think positively about things. I am still working on that area of my mind. We have true love when our husbands are sticking by our sides.

    I hope things are better for you.

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