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what is your worst symptom?

Julie20Julie20 Posts: 345 mod

Good Afternoon Ladies

What would you say is the one symptom that if you could get rid of while on this journey? why would you get rid of that one and what are you doing to combat it?

Mine is definitely the mood swings, the anger. I can go from laughing and joking to wanting to kill everyone. My mouth goes into overdrive and I know I'm saying horrible things to people but I just cant stop myself, I then have to apologise, the only way I can combat this is to keep myself away from people when I feel like that. if it happens while at work I put my earphones in and listen to music and I let everyone I work with know how I'm feeling so they know to leave me alone.

I'm just curious to see what others think and we may all learn something from reading what others do :)



  • ChrissierbChrissierb Posts: 1

    Worse symptom for me would have to be the hot flushes and night sweats. I stayed on HRT while I was working as I could not cope with the hot flushes in the working environment. There are extremely uncomfortable, embarrassing and affects your whole wellbeing. Now I am not working I am attempting to ween myself off of HRT tablets and in it’s place I have started to use vaginal oestrogen cream for bladder problems. Already experiencing some daytime flushes and more night sweats but not quite as bad as when I tried to come off about four years ago so hoping they do not get any worse and in fact ideally that they disappear. Most of the other symptoms I can cope with and find ways of dealing with.

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    I agree with you Chrissierb. The flushes day and night. Sitting at a desk soaking wet and feeling so humiliated.... and the sleeplessness. Two to three hours sleep a night. Dragging myself through each day. I don’t know how I managed for nearly 14 years with nothing but supplements. Six weeks after starting HRT patches, my life is completely different.

  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 345 mod

    really interesting isn't it the way different things affect different people. I guess I'm lucky that my hot flushes are still not too bad. I do have them but I do have a fan that is on my desk at work that's on from the minute I arrive until the minute I leave. I think the worst problem is that in my office all the other ladies are cold bodied so they want the heating on, and with it being a hospital I work in its always hot, and even in the winter I only wear a t-shirt, just looking at people in jumpers makes me hot.

    Good Luck ladies. I'm hoping that one day we will come out the other side of this journey although by then we may be too old to enjoy it :)

  • sheilasheila Posts: 5

    Hi Julie & welcome to this friendly & informative forum! The mood swings can certainly be tough during these times....if you can try to take a few deep breaths & count to 10 it does help but I know it’s sometimes easier said than done!

    Poor sleep is a big one for me but it’s slowly getting better!! I used to get really get worked up about not having had enough zzz hours but it just made me more anxious! Instead, I made a point of having a couple of relaxing times during the day e.g shut my eyes for 10/15 minutes or just sat relaxing & switching off & found this helped. I’ve now come to realise that although sleep is very important, as I get older I don’t need as much & don’t fret about it anymore... if I get a good night’s sleep of 7 hours then great but if not...with my little “timeout” during the day, I’ll be ok!!

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hi Sarah,

    No. It’s not just you! The menopause seems to do something to your brain that alters the way you think about yourself and how you react to all the normal things you would normally cope with perfectly well! I sometimes used to feel as if I was having an out of body experience - and watching a version of myself I really wasn’t very keen on!

    Are you on HRT or taking any supplements to help your symptoms?There are lots of things you can try. 😊


  • Sarah34Sarah34 Posts: 2

    Yes I'm on 1mg hrt , how you've just described is exactly how I feel I hate it I'm not in control sometimes I come out with rational things at work & I probably sound like s crazy woman I try my hardest to carry on without telling anyone at work how I'm feeling cause I dont think they would get it , I didn't when people used to mention things to me how do you cope with anxiety, I come home from work & I over anylise everything people have said or done & think it's aimed at me I feel so low at times that I come home & cry x

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Oh it's just rubbish to feel this way. But you're not on your own. There are so many of us out there feeling exactly the same.

    When I feel overwhelmed with it all, and I'm at home then of course I try to take a walk, or listen to something on my mindfulness app. Just ten minutes away from whatever is causing me grief is sometimes all it needs to let me gain control again. But I know that's not always possible at work, so I used to take myself off to the loo just to take a breath and try to shake it off!

    I get what you mean about analysing every single thing that's said, or every thing that happens - but the reality is that you're just making yourself miserable, and that's not a nice place to be. Perhaps there is someone you could talk to at work? You might find that there's someone feeling exactly like you, relieved to hear that they're not the only one!

    I don't think there are any easy answers, but perhaps it helps a little to know that you're not on your own and you're not the only one that feels this way.

    I also found that the supplement 5HTP was really helpful for me to keep on top of my anxiety and depression. You can't take it if you are already taking anti depressants, but it's perhaps something you could look into.

    And if there's noone to speak to at work, then come back and talk to us here! ☺

  • LellyMLellyM Posts: 5

    For me it is the brain fuzz. I can deal with the hot flushes and night sweats and if I have a mood swing I just warn my hubby/work colleagues that I am feeling particularly grumpy. But the brain fuzz is a nightmare. I feel like I have no short term memory any more. SO, I go everywhere with a note book and write it all down.

  • Wjh1961Wjh1961 Posts: 4

    I have been experiencing anxiety in the form of panic over absolutley nothing. I will feel inside like something is terribly wrong to the point of being nauseous. Then it will subside after about 30 minutes. Usually happens in the evenings. My face sometimes gets very warm but I haven't actually had a full blown hot flash yet. I'm 57 so I'm figuring this must be menopause. I'm going to schedule an appointment with my doctor. I'm hoping theres a test that can tell if I'm in menopause. I hate the anxiety and panic. It feels like fear...of nothing.

  • Poppypop37Poppypop37 Posts: 6

    Magnesium was a life saver for me, after trying to survive a 12 hour day on 4 hours sleep was not good. Helped tremendously.

  • Bubbles67Bubbles67 Posts: 3

    Hi everyone,

    My worst experience whilst going through the 'episode' is hot flushes and my skin turning into lobster looking, and although I do not go as red, I am still having the flushes.

    Trying all vitamins, none yet work.


  • Richo1972Richo1972 Posts: 4

    Hi everyone

    This is my first post ! I have terrible aching joints, on supplements and make smoothies of pineapple, ginger and organ juice so I’m hoping this helps... I can move sometimes due to the pain

    Going to the GP tomorrow to see what she can do


    Amanda x

  • Richo1972Richo1972 Posts: 4

    Orange juice even lol

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hello @Bubbles67 ,

    I'm sorry I missed your post until now! Hot flushes are horrible aren't they?!

    What have you tried so far? If you let us know, perhaps there's something else we've tried that might work for you 😊

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hello @Richo1972 ,

    Welcome along!

    Smoothies sound lovely - just a shame that you're trying to help aching joints with them!

    What supplements have you tried? Keeping fingers and toes crossed that your GP can offer you something to help.

    Please let us know how you get on! 😊

  • Richo1972Richo1972 Posts: 4

    I’m using Menopause Support for my day and night flushes ( doesn’t appear to be working as still getting them) and I’ve just got some Cod Liver Oil & Glucosamine Sulphate for joint care.... there are so many out there difficult to know which one to choose x

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod
    edited March 2019

    It's so hard to know what to choose isn't it? I'm on HRT now, but I still take a magnesium tablet every day . It helps me sleep, and I think it also helps with my achy knees too. Before HRT, I tried all sorts for flushes - red clover, black cohosh, sage, Menoforce. The best result I had was also the most expensive (isn't that always the way?!), Nutrition FX seemed to do the trick finally. The other options I've mentioned didn't work very well for me, but I know other women that swear by them. These things are always a bit hit and miss. What works for one person, might not necessarily work for another. There's a lot of trial and error!

    It'll be interesting to see what the doctor suggests tomorrow! 😊

  • HelpmepleaseHelpmeplease Posts: 1

    Hi I’m new to this, but you all seem to be dealing with the menopause very well, I am 47 and been having all these symptoms for about a year and a half, doctor put me on hrt , but it’s the anger and anxiety that’s affected my relationship, my boyfriend tries hard to support me but I just throw it back in his face, we have split up 4 times in the last year, I love him so much but he doesn’t understand he thinks I hate him

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hi Helpmeplease,

    Welcome to the forum.

    It might look like we're all dealing with the menopause just fine. And some days we probably are. There are also days, like today for me, when we get angry for no reason, or are anxious with no rational explanation and just feel ratty and rubbish!

    I think my point is, we are all just doing the best we can. Every day. And that's absolutely fine!

    I'm sorry you are having problems with anger and anxiety. It's really frustrating isn't it? The good thing is that you recognise it. I can understand how it affects your relationship with your boyfriend. It's hard to explain to him exactly what's happening to you when half the time you don't understand it yourself! Tell him that if it helps!

    I would really suggest another trip to see your GP, and explain to them what you've told us. Let them know how worried you are, and that it's affecting your relationship. Perhaps they can tweak the HRT or offer you something to help with the anxiety and anger (which are all symptoms a lot of us will recognise). I do think it's really important to talk about what's happening to you ( to your GP, to your boyfriend or to us!) and for you to realise that you're not on your own.

    Keep in touch 😊❤️

  • bec1_bec1_ Posts: 3

    Hello everyone

    My worst symptom at the moment is my mood, it goes up and down like a yo-yo, my hubby and kids are always in the firing line, I can generally feel me getting more stressed over the course of the day and feel by the end I the day I just want to scream out help me I can't do this anymore, I feel that this is going to break my marriage up because we are arguing all the time and it's affecting the children as they are getting upset, I feel like giving up and walking away but the thought of leaving the children I can't, feel like I'm in a prison with my moods if that makes sense 😩

  • Donsonia12Donsonia12 Posts: 11

    My worse symptoms is my aniexty panic attacks serve hot flushes it’s been 4 years this year it’s getting me down it effects my husband to i don’t want to do anything it’s getting worse the longer I have had the menopuse they say it up to 5/10 years I hope the systoms go after I am out off it it’s getting me so down 😥

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hey @bec1_ ,

    Welcome to the forum!

    I recognise myself in what you say! I often used to feel as if I was some horrible, cartoon version of myself, snapping at the kids, picking fights with my husband for no reason, and if it all started early enough in the day I could feel the tension building all day until I wanted to explode! I often used to think about getting in the car and just driving away. I don't know where I'd have gone, but I don't think that really mattered. I just wanted the madness to stop!

    You're far from alone in feeling this way - and I think you described it perfectly. It definitely IS like being a prisoner to your moods. I certainly felt I had no control over them, and although I have far fewer days like that now, they can still catch me out now and again.

    I would really recommend going and having a chat with your GP. They need to know what your symptoms are, and they definitely need to know how it's all making you feel. It's really important that they also see and understand how this is impacting not just on you, but your family too! Do you take any supplements or have you already spoken to your GP and are taking medication? How you choose to treat your symptoms is entirely up to you - you could choose the hrt route, or you can try to cope using supplements, exercise, nutrition etc. There are lots of options for you to try.

    The main thing to realise is that you're definitely not on your own, and the sooner you get some help, the quicker you can start to feel a bit better about everything, and when it all gets too much, come and yell at us! 😊

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Morning @Donsonia12

    Welcome along! It's just rubbish feeling like this isn't it? Really wears you out and makes you, and everyone around you miserable!

    Can I ask if you're receiving any treatment or taking any supplements to help? I've tried a lot of things over the last few years, but I don't want to start suggesting things you may have already tried.

    I often think that just being on the forum and realising that I'm not the only one dealing with all of this has helped me enormously. Knowing that I'm not alone has certainly helped to take away some, if not all, of my anxiety! It was a huge relief to know I wasn't the only one out there feeling this way! 😀

  • Donsonia12Donsonia12 Posts: 11

    Because I keep getting polpys I got told I can’t take h r t we will all be her for each over its nice we not doing it alone I am scared 😟 I hope that when it’s over I am worried the systoms don’t go 😥I drink herbal tea was you told to not drink anything caffeine it’s best for anixety have you tried this

  • Donsonia12Donsonia12 Posts: 11

    Hi beck your not alone I get that feel off rage anger inside me for no reason I get angry 😡 I shout at my husband my kids bless you my family don’t get it where going through a rough time we are all her for each over

  • bec1_bec1_ Posts: 3

    Hi Kaz

    Thankyou for the reply, I was diagnosed with perimenopause in Feb this year, she prescribed me hrt which I've been taking, I'm due to go back to the doctor next month as she only gave me 3 months supply of tablets, I'm not sure how long it takes to start making a difference to your body?, I think I will ask if I can increase the dosage when I go, do any of you lovely ladies use over the counter supplements alongside the hrt ? And which work better? I'm looking to see if these will help too

    Thankyou in advance guys x

  • Donsonia12Donsonia12 Posts: 11

    4 years know I come to it i ending taken the hr t does help your anixety

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hi @bec1_ ,

    I'm really glad you've been and got some help. I started HRT about the same time as you, after fighting with symptoms for about 14 years. I'm using the patch form. I found a massive difference after a couple of weeks, but I do think the strength a few more weeks along , needs to be tweaked. There are still some symptoms that could be better. I'm definitely on the right track now though.

    Have you seen any improvement at all? I hope so. It can take a bit of time for you to see a difference.

    As for supplements - I take magnesium to help with aches and pains, and for sleep. B12 because blood tests said I needed it and it has all sorts of horrible side effects and symptoms when you're deficient. For anxiety and low mood, I use 5HTP. I think this is the one that really helped me. I find it helps keep me on an even keel. Takes the edge off the anxiety and Im not cross quite as much! (Caution - You can't take this one if you are using anti depressants ).

    There are lots of OTC menopause supplements which can help you with the side effects. A lot of finding what works for you is trial and error I'm afraid. I think we all find out quite quickly that what works for one person, might not work for another!

    Hope the review with your GP goes well - sometimes it can take a couple of tries to find the HRT or medication that works for you.

    Keep going! You're on the right track! 😊

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    hi @Donsonia12 ,

    I hope you've managed to find something that helps you since HRT isn't an option. It's really frustrating trying to go it alone isn't it?

    Don't be scared - there are lots of us, just like you, coping with everything being thrown at us. I love that there is always someone on the forum with an idea or some advice I can try.

    I've heard that tip about caffeine before , and I wish I was better at listening to it. 😳 I love my tea and coffee, and I try to limit it after lunchtime, but sometimes I just need my coffee to get me through! I'm trying to develop a green tea habit - I've read that's really good for you! And it's supposed to be good for anxiety amongst other things! 😊

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