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Where have I gone?

MenopauseorjustmeMenopauseorjustme Posts: 433 Menopause Nurse Practitioner

Good afternoon, I hope you are all having a lovely Saturday.

I have titled this discussion " Where Have I gone?". These are the words I hear during every consultation. "I'm not the person I once was." " I feel invisible".

As women are explaining how they are feeling, they wipe the tears away... thinking that they will never feel any different.

But when I explain this is what menopause can do to you; well the fluctuations and reduced hormones and that with the right advice, support and treatment you can feel so much better.. they often cry some more but with relief this time!

That desperate feeling of isolation, exhaustion and that empty feeling is so common in menopause but HRT can make a significant difference.

If you are feeling like this; you are not alone and please talk to those around you, your GP and also please write into us here.


  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 337 ✭✭✭

    @Menopauseorjustme I agree with Nurse expert Diane Porterfield Bourne regarding where have I gone? I think as women in perimenopause, menopause or post menopause you may ask yourself this question from time to time because your body is experiencing all types of changes and you are having a hard time processing it. I know that I have asked the question a few times but what is important to get through this challenging time is to stay close to people don't isolate yourself from others. You never know who is going through what you are going through or worse. Sometimes just having someone's ear can help you feel better. Importantly we as women don't always do this but make time for yourself look at yourself in the mirror yes we may not look the same but you are still in there somewhere and we are still living so we can only try to make the best of this life that we all have left. Maybe take a relaxing bath, read a book, get a massage, go on a mini girls trip, do something you haven't done in awhile that used to make you happy, or a mini trip by yourself. Think about yourself sometimes. We don't look the same way as we used and maybe we don't feel the same way that we used to but we can try to figure out together how to deal with it that is why this is forum is here for you to talk to us and not feel judged because we are all experiencing something or have experienced it and sometimes you just need someone to listen to you and communicate your feelings.

  • MenopauseorjustmeMenopauseorjustme Posts: 433 Menopause Nurse Practitioner

    @MonicaM Thank you so much for writing this...you have have explained it wonderfully and us women do need to take more care of ourselves. We are generally way down on the list and we neglect ourselves.

    Talking to our friends and as restrictions are lifting we can go out and about more; experiencing a touch of normal life again.

    We all need to vent, rant and have someone to listen to us; often we don't want to have our problems solved but to be given the opportunity to talk freely. I know this helps me and it helps others.

    So ladies..let's talk some more.

    Best wishes

    Diane Porterfield Bourne.

  • Bobfish23Bobfish23 Posts: 1

    Hi, I am new to this group and t be honest I didn't think I was having menopausal symptoms - I just thought I was getting old!! Having read some articles, I can see that actually I may need to think about treatments. Unfortunately my GP will not prescribe HRT for me because I have diabetes and he is concerned that it increases my risk of stroke. I am not feeling like myself, it is like I have disappeared, or am disappearing. I am putting on weight almost by the day even though my diet hasn't changed; I am snappy and I cry a lot. Just wondering if there are any recommendations for alternatives to HRT?

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 337 ✭✭✭


    Hi Bobfish welcome to the forum and thank you for your post.

    I know how you feel when you are experiencing all of these emotions and symptoms. The weight, the mood swings and not feeling like yourself are all definitely symptoms of menopause. It can be so frustrating feeling this way.

    I am not a doctor or medical expert but we have two medical experts in the forum so I will tag them in this post to speak to you more about what you are going through and possibly other alternatives @Menopauseorjustme and @Giada Frontino

  • MenopauseorjustmeMenopauseorjustme Posts: 433 Menopause Nurse Practitioner


    Good morning and I ams so pleased you have written in...

    Type 2 diabetes is often associated with getting older, family history and being over weight, where as type 1 if from a younger age.

    As we go through the menopause it can affect our insulin resistance and our blood sugars too. Having diabetes can lead to lots of health issues, which is why diabetics are monitored so closely. Increased levels of sugars can affect most parts of the body but especially our cardiovascular system- blood vessels etc.

    HRT is not contra indicated in diabetes, in fact I would say it is even more important to have it. HRT protects your blood vessels, heart..plus much more.

    I'm a member off the British Menopause Society and at a conference in 2019 a professor presented on the importance of HRT to protect our hearts.

    If you would like to PM on here I can explain more... but I would suggest talking to your GP again.

    Take care and please message me if you'd like to talk more about this.

    Best wishes

    Diane Porterfield Bourne.

  • MenopauseorjustmeMenopauseorjustme Posts: 433 Menopause Nurse Practitioner


    Weight gain is really common during menopause and mid life generally. ow Oestrogen levels can help us store more fat and also affect our insulin resistance.

    I would discuss HRT again with your GP. Or call your diabetic nurse specialist for advice too?

    There are other medications your GP can prescribe to help with your symptoms but they are not as effective as HRT.

    Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help improve hot flushes and can make you feel more in control. Exercise and mindfulness can also be beneficial.

    Please let us know how you get on.

    Best wishes

    Diane Porterfield Bourne.

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