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Christmas with my menopausal mum - please help!!

blankazsanna5blankazsanna5 Posts: 16 ✭✭

Hello everyone,

I'm new to the forum and joined as I'd love to help my lovely mum who is going through the menopause. I'm hoping that some of you here can give me a little advice!

My mum's coming to visit me this Christmas for a whole week - I'm so happy and this is a huge deal for me as we live very far from each other and only get to see each other twice a year.

Even though I'm genuinely over the moon by the fact we'll get to spend Christmas together, I'm also very nervous! She's already anxious by the thought of packing, flying, traveling etc and she has really really bad mood swings. She could be the happiest and loveliest person on earth at one moment and then be angry with the rest of the family a minute later, without no reason.

This is the first Christmas I'm "hosting" ever since I moved abroad and my entire family is coming, so having a peaceful and joyful time would be so great. I don't really know how to prepare / if I should prepare with anything to help her feel less anxious and stressed?

Any advice is much appreciated. I'm so lost with this.

Thank you,

Z

Comments

  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 326 mod

    Hi @blankazsanna5

    Welcome to this lovely group. How great that you will all be together for Christmas and you will get to spend time with your mum but I do understand your worries. Menopause is horrible and it does things to our mind and body that even we don't understand so it's very hard to expect anybody that isn't going through it to know what we are feeling.

    The only advice I can give you is to give your mum space as this is going to be very hard for her too. You may find that being out of her own environment may be a good thing and she may be very calm and relaxed. If she becomes anxious it's because she has no control over how she is feeling and the only thing she knows is to lash out. Be patient and let her find her own way.

    Just try to relax and enjoy the time you have together x

  • blankazsanna5blankazsanna5 Posts: 16 ✭✭

    Hi @Julie20,

    Thank you so much for your response. It’s good to find some support!

    You’re right, maybe I’m just overthinking this. I’m sure we’ll have a lovely time and all she needs is just a little space.

    The whole thing is very new to me as she started going through the menopause only after I moved abroad a couple years ago. I’m sure I’ll find lots of information and help on this forum x

  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 326 mod

    Unfortunately until a year or so ago menopause wasn't talked about. Growing up I just thought my nan and mum were going mad and had anger issues lol.luckily now we talk openly about it and even have adverts about it so we now understand it a bit more.

    Just try and relax and enjoy each day as it comes. I'm sure you will have a great Christmas with all of your loved ones around you.

    And if you do need to rant come on here, there will always be a listening ear :)

  • blankazsanna5blankazsanna5 Posts: 16 ✭✭

    Hi @Julie20,

    Hahaha, I know! At least I do understand it's the menopause but nobody else in the family does...

    Okay that's actually not true, I have a young brother who's 8 and last time I visited them he looked at my mother with the most anxious expression on his face ever and said: 'Mum, I really don't get why you're fuming today, but I just want you to know I'm going to make a sandwich totally by myself for dinner so you have one less thing to worry about'. I was laughing like never before ahahaha - got to love him!😍

    Thanks so much, will definitely keep spending some time here x

  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 326 mod

    Hi again @blankazsanna5

    Your little brother sounds like the perfect person to be around and so innocent lol.

    How are the Christmas plans going ? X

  • NancyNancy Posts: 2

    Hi, 1st time on this site too!

    im a mum who is worried I’m going to be awful over Christmas in front of all my family. We are hosting this year which is great but I’m so worried I get annoyed or angry over nothing as I usually do at the moment. I want this Christmas to be perfect as all my kids and my parents will be here.

  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 326 mod

    Hi @Nancy . Christmas is always a stressful time. Have you thought about speaking to your family before the big day and explaining how you are feeling? That way they will understand if you have a meltdown.

    Alternatively, when you feel a panic / meltdown coming on you step away from everyone for 5 minutes, go and stand outside and take some deep breaths, add a relaxation app on your phone and pop earphones on and just listen to it in a quiet space. You will be amazed how quickly they can work.

    Try not to think about it too much as sometimes the thought of it can be worse than it actually will be.

    Try and enjoy your day. It happens once a year. X

  • NancyNancy Posts: 2

    Thank you. My lot just don’t get it. They think I’m going off my head I think!!!! But live the idea of taking myself off and listening to a relaxation app!

  • Julie20Julie20 Posts: 326 mod

    Hi ladies. How have you both coped today ? I hope it's been a happy relaxing and uneventful time. X

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