My husband is currently going through a midlife crisis and my tank is empty!! I have no words just an explosion of emotions and zero empathy for his nonsense. I am slowly losing my mind and control. Every attempt to discuss ends in him feeling attacked “a punching bag for me”. There are no words that I can say that don’t leave him feeling personally attacked, including my statement “I’m having a rough day, maybe you should go to the mall alone to get your stuff”. Somehow this turned into “why don’t you go back to (our previous home town) I’m f*#!ing over it!!”. Where do I go from here he has a counselor phobia????
Hey @Lostmymind74 ,
Thanks for joining us on the forum.
I'm so sorry you're having such a stressful time.
Its really hard to communicate, especially with loved ones, when there's so much emotion involved on both sides. It's a good thing that you can recognise that there's a problem, and understand the impact it's having on both of you.
I don't know if I have any answers for you - advising people on personal relationships is fraught with danger! Relationships are so personal to each and every one of us and none of us has any idea what goes on in someone else's relationship. What I can say, is that when things get tough with my other half, or other family members, (and let's be honest, we all go through tough times), I find that writing things in a letter means I can communicate what I am feeling without forgetting to say what I need to, and without having a discussion that degenerates into a horrible fight that nobody wants! It also gives me a chance to think carefully about how I want to phrase things so that there's less chance of having my words misinterpreted. I find it therapeutic to think about what it is that I want to say. Somehow, when things are written down, and I'm taking time to say what's on my mind, it can help to take the heat out of a situation. I wonder if this might work for you?
Perhaps if your husband is relectant to speak to someone, and not everyone wants to speak to a counsellor, then you might benefit from being able to speak to someone impartial yourself about what's happening?
I really hope you can find something that helps you both. It's exhausting living with tension like this, and I can see how frustrated this is making you from the message you posted. Good luck 😊