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What do I do next?

Hi, my partner of 13 years left me last week because of my symptoms. I don’t blame him because I was not a very nice person to live with, I could not bare him any more and our sex life became non existent. I have been going to the doctors back and forth since the beginning of the year. I think I need a blood test to test my hormone levels. They have been giving me pills which have not been working, telling me to come off them for a month then going on another one. I excersise and am very healthy. I just don't know what else to do. I cannot live like this, this is not me. Thank you. 

Best Answer

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod
    Accepted Answer
    Hello @Karenroberts123,
    I'm so sorry to read your post this morning. At its very worst, menopause can have a debilitating effect physically on some women, but can also cause real emotional issues, relationship breakups and problems at work, with family members and friends. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you - and I'm sure it won't be any comfort to you to know that you're not the only one affected in this way.
    Your symptoms sound awful - and you need real help. 
    I think we need to start with your GP and find a way for you to get your GP to understand the impact these symptoms are having on your life. Can you make another appointment? Ask for the person in your practice with the most experience of menopause. It might be a GP, or it could be a nurse practitioner - but you need to speak to someone with the experience to help you. If there isn't anyone like that, then it may be worth changing practice, which might seem like a nuisance, but you need to find someone with experience who can help.
    You don't say what age you are. Blood tests after the age of 45 are no longer required to confirm a menopause diagnosis. A doctor will decide based on symptoms and period history. Even before 45, blood tests are inconsistent and may not be offered. Is the GP treating you for menopause symptoms or did they treat you for something else such as anxiety or depression?
    Have you filled out a symptoms tracker? It's a really good way of showing a GP in black and white the symptoms that you are dealing with. If you find it difficult to communicate with your GP, you might find this way easier for you. It's also absolutely imperative that you make sure the GP fully understands the impact that these symptoms are having on your life. The GP needs to understand the symptoms, but also that your partner has left because of the impact the symptoms are having on your life.  Any underlying relationship issues will fairly soon become all too apparent when menopause symptoms appear, and it's not always easy to explain or even understand what's happening to you. You may be surprised to find out just how many symptoms you are experiencing. Seeing them in black and white will help you to explain to your GP.


    There are lots of options for treatment. I'm not sure which tablets have been offered so far. The first line of treatment for menopause is HRT rather than anti depressants, but regardless, either of those treatments will take more than a month for you to start feeling any real effects. Switching tablets so soon doesn't seem to me to be giving you a fair shot at feeling any real difference. I'm attaching a factsheet about HRT to give you a better idea of what can be offered and how long it may take to work.  https://www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/menopause/hormone-replacement-therapy-hrt

    There is also the option of asking for a referral to a menopause clinic. A menopause clinic specialises in all things Menopause and HRT related. You need to be referred by your GP (fingers crossed that there is a clinic in your area) but you will probably have to ask for that referral! And you shouldn't be afraid to ask! You deserve to be able to access the help you need. I'll pop a link at the bottom of this reply for you to search for one in your area. There are NHS ones, but there are also private clinics if the budget stretches that far. I would try searching just for NHS first. I certainly didn't have the budget for private! If there is one and travel/distance is an issue - you can ask about a phone or "attend anywhere" consultation which is a bit like a skype call! 

    I think the thing that I most want to share with you is that there is hope. You CAN find help for your symptoms - and I hope that I've been able to give you something to work with!

    PLEASE let me know if you have any questions  😊



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