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Sex drive

Ellisc299Ellisc299 Posts: 1

I was on hrt and things were fine sex wise but I was diagnosed with cervical cancer so had to come off hrt I had a radical hysterectomy and now my sex drive has taken a dive and im worried my husband will need more than i can give him


  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hello @Ellisc299

    Welcome to you!

    I’m so sorry to read about your cervical cancer diagnosis – I hope you’re getting the treatment you need. That’s a lot to get your head around.

    Have you spoken to your husband about this – does he know this is how you feel? Sometimes we can make things worse by not communicating them. Problems we keep to ourselves can often seem to grow bigger than they need to be, and often when we just take a breath, and have the difficult conversations, it’s a massive help and a relief to everyone.That’s what I would suggest as a first step.

    I’ve just replied to another lady with a similar suggestion for a different symptom! Forgive the repetition but I’m going to suggest a mindfulness app - which I know might sound like a daft idea, but I find it really helpful. I began using the Clarity app to help me with sleep (and it works brilliantly well for that!). It’s an app designed especially for women in our 30s, 40s and 50s and beyond coping with menopause. Our expert @Becks_Armstrong is the brains behind it.

    As a welcome side effect, it also helps me with menopausal anxiety that flares up occasionally, there’s an Instacool session to help with hot flushes BUT there’s also a series of sessions to help specifically with libido. I’ve used everything in the app except these sessions, for no other reason but that I haven’t got to this part of the app yet (I will!), but everything I’ve tried other than this has worked really well and helped me enormously. I have no reason to think the libido sessions would be any different.

    Mindfulness does take a bit of practice to feel the maximum benefit, but it’s not a massive effort, and I do feel that it benefits me in all sorts of positive ways.

    It’s like everything – what works for one person might not work for someone else, but it’s definitely an option, and it’s drug free, so perfect for your circumstances.

    Hope this helps! If you do decide to try it, I’d love to know how you get on.


  • Becks_ArmstrongBecks_Armstrong Posts: 33 Menopause Mindfulness Expert

    Hi @Ellisc299, I'm sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis, I hope you're getting the help you need.

    Having read the lovely @Kaz's reply I would agree with what she has said. Making sure you have open communication with your husband is important. We do have a libido on https://clarity.app that I would encourage you to try but I would also suggest that you find a talk therapist (either a psychologist, psychotherapist or someone that can do CBT etc).

    It would be very normal that your libido would take a dip with all that you've just gone through, so being kind to yourself and also finding a qualified professional to talk to about what's going on for you will also be really helpful. (@Kaz may have some recommended experts on here).

    I wish you the very best of luck.


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