Home Menopause Forum My Menopause Symptoms & Solutions

Help!!!!!

dimpie66dimpie66 Posts: 5

I am really struggling with this all the awful symptoms. My whole life is being affected.

Constant visits to gp. To no avail.

Been on my meds four weeks and no change.

Need some support and guidance .

Comments

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hello @dimpie66

    Welcome!

    It's miserable to feel so awful all the time isn't it? We know how you're feeling - and you're not on your own!

    Tell us a bit about the symptoms you're having, how old you are, how long you've had the symptoms, and what you're taking to try and help. Then we can see what to suggest to try and help you. ♥️

  • dimpie66dimpie66 Posts: 5

    I am 52. Had hysterectomy at 39 , ovaries not removed.

    I was told by a good friend two months ago I was unhappy. She hit the nail on the head.

    I am so emotional, crying every day, sobbing is the only way to describe it. Someone just says how are you, floodgates open.my mood can only be described as murderess, I feel so much anger, it is scary.

    I constantly have a feeling of absolute dread.

    I have always been very positive, but all I see is negativity now and feel I have become a horrible person.

    I am in a constant fog, memory is horrendous, no patience, lack of good sleep, I sleep but it's broken.

    Started a work in Feb this year, I left four years ago. My supervisor is not supportive ,pushing daily to complete my workload so I am making stupid mistakes. And i am blooming good at my job.

    The hate i feel for my supervisor is not acceptable in my opinion, I know better but I am struggling to stay professional , even to have any sort of conversation with her. So then the worry about losing my job as I am still on probation.

    Visited gp every week for past four weeks. Have been told cannot have patches, they would possibly be better for me. I am limited to medication they can prescribe due to my hysterectamy.

    Feel like I am being fobbed off. Another appointment made for 11th July now, with yet another gp in the practice.

    My medication is zumenon 1mg.

    Any advice would be amazing.

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod
    edited June 2019

    Part 1/2

    Oh! We are almost meno-twins! Hysterectomy at 34, ovaries not removed, and I'm now 50. And I say that, only to let you know that I completely understand what you are describing and how you are feeling! I've spent a long time fighting to get the treatment I needed, so I'm on your side and ready to try and help!

    I have had 16 years of miserable symptoms almost exactly like yours (despite still having my ovaries, I almost immediately went straight into menopause), and I was not allowed to take HRT because of migraines. I'm not sure why you're limited with medication because of your hysterectomy, unless there is another underlying medical condition? If there is no other medical condition to take into account, then I would question why you're being told that you can't have the patches you need/want.

    Zumeston IS an HRT treatment, but in tablet form, as you know. How long have you been taking it? Have you felt any benefit from it at all? I would suggest that it can sometimes take 2-3 months to fully feel the benefits, but after 3 or 4 weeks, I would expect that you should have had some relief, although in the early stages you can also have some side effects that might make you feel as if it's not working. I had sore and painful breasts, bloating and what I'd describe as PMT - these additional symptoms only lasted a few weeks until the HRT settled. Interestingly, I've increased my dose in the last week, and those symptoms are back. I can deal with that though, because I know they will settle in a few weeks.

    All of the symptoms you describe definitely point to menopause. The first thing I'd like you to do is print this list off, and tick everything that applies to you. This is the first part of evidence you need to help the discussion with your GP.

    Does the doctor that you are seeing in July have experience of dealing with menopause? Don't be afraid to phone your surgery and ask to be able to see the person in the surgery with the most experience of menopause. It might not even be a GP - it could be a nurse practitioner. Whoever it is (and I hope they have at least one!), that's the person you need to go and chat to. If there is no one at your practice, go and see your GP and ask to be referred to a menopause clinic if there is one in your area. Were you aware that menopause clinics exist? These clinics specialise in all things Menopause and HRT related. You need to be referred by your GP (fingers crossed that there is a clinic in your area) but you WILL have to ask for that referral! And you shouldn't be afraid to ask! You deserve to be able to access the help you need. I'll pop a link for you to search for one in your area. There are NHS ones, but there are also private clinics if the budget stretches that far. I would try searching just for NHS first. I certainly didn't have the budget for private! If there is one and travel/distance is an issue - you can ask about a phone or "attend anywhere" consultation which is a bit like a Skype call.

    If you don't get anywhere with your GP, it may be worth ringing other local doctors surgeries to ask if they have a doctor with menopause experience or expertise. Changing your practice might be a nuisance, but it's worth making the effort to find the support you need! Please don't feel that you have to stay with the same GP if you're not getting the help that you need.

    From what you're describing, it sounds to me as if you would benefit from the help of one of these specialist menopause doctors. I felt exactly like you at one point, so I know that with the right treatment, you can feel a whole lot better.


  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Part 2/2

    In the meantime, at your next appointment, you have your list of symptoms to discuss. You can add in whether these symptoms are better, worse, or the same since you've been taking your Zumeron.

    You can ask whether the reason for not supporting the HRT patch treatment is a financial one or for health reasons. There are reasons why some GPs might not be prepared to prescribe HRT (or the HRT you want), it might help you to put your arguments to them if you know what their barriers might be.

    I completely understand how difficult these conversations with your doctor can be when you're feeling awful and you're at your lowest ebb. Do you have someone who could go along to offer you some support at the appointment? It's important that you can make your GP see how much these symptoms are affecting your life, including the issues at work.

    Let me know if this is helpful for you. I appreciate there's a lot of information to take in. Come back and ask any questions you need to! 😊

  • BessBess Posts: 9

    Hi dimpie66

    Best thing you could have done is join this forum, its a wonderful place to offload, I feel for you for all the turmoil you are experiencing I don't really have any constructive advice just wanted to say hello and for me it was great to offload a couple of months ago and I felt better afterwards. Kaz is fantastic with help and advice I tried the mindfulness app. I don't work outside of my home so no experience of unsupportive co-workers or any ways to help with that area.

    Keep in touch with this forum and have a "rant and rave" as they say it's "better out than in"!!!!

    Try and find 1 small thing to smile about every day, just to smile is good.

    You hang in there and take on board Kaz's advice and help.

    Look after yourself🙂

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hello again @Bess ,

    Lovely to see you popping up to offer some support! Thank you ♥️

    I agree - the best thing about the forum is being able to offload to other women who understand what you're going through! Ranting can be very therapeutic sometimes!

    How did you get on with mindfulness? Did you try Clarity or did you find another (there are so many!). I'd be really interested to know how you got on. If it was Clarity that you chose, I know that @Becks_Armstrong is always really keen to hear feedback about the app, and is really responsive if you have questions about it.

    Hope you're keeping well now 😊

  • dimpie66dimpie66 Posts: 5

    Hi kaz.

    Thank you so much for all your advice and links.

    To answer some of your questions.

    No I have no underlying health reasons, one reason I was given by nurse practitioner was Brexit. Made me smile and think well at least that deal made it.

    I have been taking 1mg for 4 weeks now. Tbh feel worse. So much more emotional, can cry at anything and not stop for good couple of hours, and lack of patience my goodness I need to wire my mouth shut.

    My boobs are killing me at the moment, and yes feel like I did but worse when waiting for the monthly to arrive.

    I will print the list and take with me. I will also try to locate a menapause specialist in west Yorkshire if they can help get my life back I will fly to them weekly. ( with my own wings)

    It feels so good to know I am not going mad , my friends keep saying it will pass, you will be fine, let's go out get drunk. At least I might be able to help them through theirs rather than their solutions.( I love them really but just not this part few weeks.)

    I cannot thank you enough for your reply and others on here. I can now talk or type without anyone saying " it will pass, just have a good nights sleep "

    I can be honest and say I feel like murder.

    I will now try to find my saving grace specialist.

    Will let you know how I go on.

    Thank you xxxx

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Brexit?!!!! Really?!! 😡😡😡😡 That's one of the most ridiculous excuses I've heard for not prescribing patches!

    Patches would be preferable to tablets for lots of reasons including

    • The oestrogen is absorbed straight into the body and does not have to be digested.
    • There is no increased risk of clot or stroke using oestrogen as a patch or gel, at standard doses. Taking oestrogen as a tablet leads to the liver clotting factors being activated, so there is a small increased risk of clot and stroke in women who take oestrogen in tablet form.
    • Transdermal oestrogen can be used by women with migraines. Migraines can often become more severe and more frequent in the perimenopause and menopause – HRT usually improves migraine symptoms. As there is a small increased risk of stroke in some women who have migraine, it is safer and advisable to take oestrogen as a patch or gel.
    • Transdermal oestrogen (patches or gels) does not worsen libido. Taking oestrogen as a tablet, however, can increase levels of Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG) which binds to testosterone - this effect can result in a lower libido. Taking oestrogen as a patch or gel does not have this effect.
    • The dose of transdermal oestrogen can be changed easily. It is very common that younger women need to have higher doses of oestrogen than older women. In addition, many women find that their oestrogen requirements change with time. It is very easy to either adjust the strength of the patch, or the amount of gel used

    If you can show your GP that you've done your research by quoting some of this information, as well as asking for a referral to a local menopause clinic, perhaps they'll realise that you are serious, and prescribe what you need. I certainly got help when I started asking questions instead of accepting what I was told.

    You're definitely not going mad - and only someone not coping with hot flushes would suggest getting drunk! Alcohol can make hot flushes worse - and who wants to risk getting drunk when you're a menopausal woman full of rage?🤣😊

    Remember that you might also be offered a low level anti depressant to help with the low mood/ anger. It might not be something that you want to try, but it's another option to cope with the lack of patience and anger issues.

    Lots of things to think about, and hopefully you're feeling a bit more positive with some options available for you to try 😊

  • dimpie66dimpie66 Posts: 5

    I most certainly will be using all your information on my next visit.

    You should be called the Oracle.

    I do feel much more educated and ready to take my gp on now.

    Yes they did prescribe me an anti depressant but I refused to get it from chemist, telling them I wasnt depressed, maybe I should cash the prescription and try that as you suggest.


    I have left messages at two clinics one in Manchester, one in Barnsley. Fingers crossed they are in my price range.

    Alls is crossed now I have knowledge off I go to start my battle.

  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    You GO GIRL!

    Knowledge is power.

    If you're unsure about the anti depressant , you don't have to take it. My mood evened out on the HRT alone, but not everyones does - it's a question of whether you can cope until the HRT kicks in. I mentioned it simply to let you know what might be offered and what some options for you might be.

    I had the conversation with my GP last week that my low mood and floods of tears were hormonal rather than depression (which I've also had). The difference being, that I get a break from the hormonal feelings (it appears to tie in with my hormonal cycle), whereas depression is a more continual "low", if that makes sense? Something to think about for sure!

    I'm so pleased to see how much more positive you are. Fingers crossed for some responses from the clinics.

    I look forward to hearing how you get on 😊❤️

  • Becks_ArmstrongBecks_Armstrong Posts: 33 Menopause Mindfulness Expert

    Hi ladies, I'm just popping up to just give you a big virtual hug of support @dimpie66. The incredible @Kaz seems to have covered all the bases for starting you on your track with getting proper help and support.

    I would just also add just make sure you do take a breathe and be a little kind to yourself. This stuff is real. It's hard to understand what's going on - let alone to get others to understand.

    I hope you find a good doctor to speak to so you can get your meds sorted.

    I'm here if you have any questions but otherwise I will leave it to the wise ladies to help you. x


    Facebook - hey_clarity
    Insta - @hey_clarity 
    Twitter - @hey_clarity

    Check out the Clarity app on iTunes & Google Play
  • BessBess Posts: 9

    Hi Kaz

    Lovely of you to send me a message, such a nice thing to do because I know you must be so busy replying to all the messages on this forum. I just wanted to write because I got so much help and understanding from this forum. It also made me realise that I was not as bad as some of the ladies who were joining in and listing their own issues with the menopause and how gp's sometimes just don't understand what is happening to women. Having the coil in obviously masked some of the effects for me. Anyway, I am feeling much better. I had the blood pressure monitor on for 24 hours and yes my blood pressure was up so on a trial for 4 weeks of tablets and getting another monitor next week and then if that reads as normal my gp will start me on oestrogen patches. Have to go back in Nov 2021 to get the coil removed and she will change the hrt then, presuming all is well.

    Feel better having a plan, the mindfulness I downloaded was headspace, but only did some of the steps in how to meditate, because I got myself sorted, and accepted that yes I was going through the menopause and with help from yourself along with some therapy I managed to pull myself out of what was borderline depression and able to laugh again and find happy and good things about life.

    Thanks again for all your help, I will keep checking in and I hope it's alright to answer some of the posts I read that are close to what I experienced a few months back.

    Just to ask a quick question. Two women I know told me they had hardly any symptoms of menopause and one woman said she was uncomfortable for about 2 weeks or so a few years back and neither had anything like what all the women on this forum talks about, just wondered do you come across that often?


    Take care

    Bess

  • Becks_ArmstrongBecks_Armstrong Posts: 33 Menopause Mindfulness Expert

    Hi @Bess,

    I've just seen your post - @Kaz may have not seen it as it wasn't tagged so I will pop her in here so she can respond.

    I'm delighted to hear that you are feeling better.

    Becks


    Facebook - hey_clarity
    Insta - @hey_clarity 
    Twitter - @hey_clarity

    Check out the Clarity app on iTunes & Google Play
  • KazKaz Posts: 475 mod

    Hello @Bess

    What a lovely message to receive! My apologies that it’s taken so long to reply. For some reason I’m having huge problems posting on the forum, and I’m having to find a workaround until we get a fix, which means everything is taking longer to do as a result!

    I’m so glad that you seem to be feeling better. I’m glad it helped you to contact us – sometimes just being in touch with women who understand what’s happening to you is therapy enough! I hope your blood pressure has settled and you get to start your patches. I’d love to hear how you get on. When I first started I had a few weeks of extra symptoms and I did wonder if things were getting worse instead of better, but things settled and I feel DO feel so much better. I understand what you mean when you say it made you realise that you weren’t as bad as some of the other ladies – but you shouldn’t feel like that. Your experience is entirely valid, and if things are an issue for you, then it’s good to get them recognised and sorted, and your experience is just as important to us as any other.

    I’m glad you tried mindfulness – Headspace is good. If all it does is let you get to sleep at night, then that in itself is a bonus! I’m really happy to see you feeling much brighter – that makes such a difference to how you’re able to cope with your symptoms!

    The two women you talk about? The statistics around menopause are very interesting – a third of women will fly through the menopause with no or hardly any symptoms at all, another third will have some symptoms but it won’t impact unduly on their lives, and the final third will have symptoms so severe that it impacts not only on their mental health and their physical health but will impact on their home lives, their social lives, their relationships and their employment. If things are as they say for the two ladies you mention, I’d hazard a guess that they’re in the first third, and are very lucky indeed!

    Please join in any conversation you want to. It helps all of us to get different perspectives, and the only way to help women to cope with what’s happening to them is to enable them to talk!

    I look forward to seeing how things go for you going forward. I love it when women check in to tell us how things are going! Take care! ☺️❤️

Sign In or Register to comment.