New Ways to Get Your GP to Help You During Menopause

KazKenn24

What is the best way to spend your ten minute GP appointment to ensure that you get the help that you need?
How do you decide what the symptoms to focus on are? 
If you feel that you haven’t had the help you needed when you see your GP, should you try again, or switch to another GP?
How do you even know that your GP is up to date with menopausal issues and treatments?
I’m frustrated with the lack of help and support offered and I need to approach things in a different way. Any help or advice would be very much appreciated.

dizbag

I’ve been going through the menopause for around 10yrs now people say things will get better but I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel any time soon , it’s really changed me as s person , I suffer really bad with the hot flushers not so bad at night but all through the day , I have long hair and have to wear it up all the time I dry my fringe at least 4 times a day or sometimes just wash it and leave it curly, it’s embarrassing for me I’m a carer and cannot wear my uniform I wear a black T-Shirt ,black trousers so U cannot see the sweat marks, sweat just rolls down my face . It’s changed me as a  person, I don’t like going out anymore as I cannot wear what I want due to the hot flushes, my hair as always been the most important to me if my hair looks nice I feel nice but can look nice when I’ve done it then as soon as I have a flush it goes fuzzy wet curly , my makeup comes off and I feel horrible, I used to love going out on date nights with my hubby sat nights now I don’t want to go or even girly nights all my friends look lovely and I feel horrible. In the bedroom well that’s down to zero how my husband is still with me i’ll Never know I’ve not had a very good sex drive really thought when going through the menopause your libido comes back but No not for me. It’s made me a different person, I don’t like myself I won’t even look at myself with nothing on , I gain weight with the menopause and I have a under active thyroid so more weight gain double whammy, I have been to my GP been to she a gynaecologist tried numerous things that haven’t worked tablets, implant , HRT was the first thing didn’t get on with it , all I want is me back I wouldn’t wish this on my deadly enermy , I get very depressed, fatigue, moody at times just wish it would go away now 😢

KazKenn24

dizbag said:

I’ve been going through the menopause for around 10yrs now people say things will get better but I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel any time soon , it’s really changed me as s person , I suffer really bad with the hot flushers not so bad at night but all through the day , I have long hair and have to wear it up all the time I dry my fringe at least 4 times a day or sometimes just wash it and leave it curly, it’s embarrassing for me I’m a carer and cannot wear my uniform I wear a black T-Shirt ,black trousers so U cannot see the sweat marks, sweat just rolls down my face . It’s changed me as a  person, I don’t like going out anymore as I cannot wear what I want due to the hot flushes, my hair as always been the most important to me if my hair looks nice I feel nice but can look nice when I’ve done it then as soon as I have a flush it goes fuzzy wet curly , my makeup comes off and I feel horrible, I used to love going out on date nights with my hubby sat nights now I don’t want to go or even girly nights all my friends look lovely and I feel horrible. In the bedroom well that’s down to zero how my husband is still with me i’ll Never know I’ve not had a very good sex drive really thought when going through the menopause your libido comes back but No not for me. It’s made me a different person, I don’t like myself I won’t even look at myself with nothing on , I gain weight with the menopause and I have a under active thyroid so more weight gain double whammy, I have been to my GP been to she a gynaecologist tried numerous things that haven’t worked tablets, implant , HRT was the first thing didn’t get on with it , all I want is me back I wouldn’t wish this on my deadly enermy , I get very depressed, fatigue, moody at times just wish it would go away now 😢

Oh Dizbag! Isn’t it horrible? I’ve been where you are - I used to look like I’d just got out of the shower a dozen times a day. I felt so self conscious. Thankfully it’s confined to the night time now, but I remember exactly how it felt, so I do know what you’re describing. 
It’s so hard just to keep going, especially when you feel that you’ve been dealing with it for so long, and you’re right. It affects everyone around you. I’m sometimes amazed that my poor husband hasn’t run for the hills by now! I can’t use HRT, but I take lots of supplements, and since joining the forum, it helps me enormously to know that I’m not the only one coping with all these horrible symptoms.
I don’t know if you saw the Ask Me Anything Event with Nicki Williams the other night? It’s worth having a read through some of her answers to questions we asked her. Her website has lots of helpful information too. Might be worth a read in case there’s anything there that might help you ♥️ 
https://community.livebetterwith.com/menopause/discussion/161/award-winning-nutrionist-nicki-williams-joins-us-for-our-first-ever-ask-me-anything-event#latest

dizbag

Thank you nice to b able to talk to people that r suffering like me , some lucky people say “I didn’t even know I have been through it , had no symptoms “ wish that was me , i’d be so lucky, I’m a carer in a lovely residential home close to me I work with elderly that have dementia and I honestly thought I was getting early on set Dementia, I’ve always had a good memory so when my gynaecologist said memory loss and also underactive thyroid can course memory loss was glad I wasn’t getting dementia, I have to write everything down now if I need to remember it, so double whammy for me , emotional is another thing I’ve always been a softy crying at anything now I’m twice as worse gets embarrassing I have to tell myself don’t cry don’t cry even at happy things ,can cry to order now . Thanks again x mandy .

KazKenn24

Hi Mandy. I was a carer too, but out in the community. Hard work!
Like you too - can cry at the drop of a hat! At the tv, things the kids say, things that happen during the day! Like a leaky tap I have no control over! Memory loss, not so much, except there are days I can’t string a sentence together!
I think the thing to remember is that you have somewhere to share your stories with now. 
It’s really helped me to have other women to talk to who understand what I’m going through! 
Keep talking to us ♥️ 

Kaz

I had to go to the hospital yesterday to see a consultant about carpal tunnel. NOTHING to do with the menopause, I’ve had it since my first pregnancy (that baby is now 19!), but because of increasing menopause symptoms such as horrible insomnia, relentless hot flushes and low mood, I’m trying to get the things which exacerbate my menopause symptoms sorted out. Carpal tunnel wakes me up. As do hot flushes. That’s if I can even manage to get to sleep, so I’m trying to fix what seems to be, to me anyway, the easier issue to solve than the menopause!
It took 7 months to get this appointment, and whilst explaining my symptoms, I got asked why, if I’ve been treating myself for over 19 years, I suddenly felt the need to seek help now.
Now, that’s not quite true, but the times I’ve asked for help before haven’t resulted in any great success. You get disheartened though, when you feel that doctors are not fully understanding your symptoms or the impact they have. So yesterday I tried to explain that being menopausal, and dealing with insomnia and hot flushes on a ridiculously regular basis, I need to do everything I can to help myself, and that includes getting rid of the carpal tunnel pain which adds to my lack of sleep. Lack of sleep makes my menopausal symptoms much worse. It impacts on my whole life.
It then got pointed out (by the overweight consultant which I always find frustrating!) that being overweight may not be helping. Whilst I fully understand that, I explained that I have been considerably heavier than I am now, and I have also been considerably lighter than I am currently. My symptoms have never altered. Equally, when you don’t sleep, or are forever dealing with horrible symptoms, you get miserable. And you eat more than you should. When you try to help yourself by visiting a doctor and you don’t get the response you’re looking for, you get despondent again, and for some, like me, despite knowing that over eating is incredibly bad for you, that’s where your comfort lies. It’s a vicious circle.
Now I get that a neurologist isn’t really there to treat my menopause symptoms, but the impact of not sleeping as a result of my menopause symptoms AND the carpal tunnel is crippling me. I think they’re relevant to the situation I find myself in. They are part of the reason I was there to see him yesterday. He can’t help me with the menopause symptoms but he CAN help me with the carpal tunnel. I’m just frustrated that as a patient, this doctor wasn’t really interested in seeing the bigger picture, and definitely didn’t seem to be interested in treating me “as a whole” but rather just as the five minute appointment to consult on painful hands,
And as I walked away with a referral for some nerve conduction tests (with another three month wait for an appointment) I couldn’t help feeling as if I was being unreasonable expecting the doctor to have time to understand anything more than my sore hands. I’m a great fan of the NHS and all that they do, but I wonder if a few extra minutes more spent getting the full picture of women in the menopause, their symptoms and the impact they have on day to day lives might mean that treatments are better targeted and in the long run, would mean fewer appointments for other things.