Welcome to the Q&A Hub!
Blanka_C
Posts: 374 Community Admin
Hello ladies,
We are very excited to introduce you to our new Menopause Q&A Hub. We are delighted you’ve decided to join Live Better With!
Whether it’s hot flushes, brain fog, sleepless nights, excessive bleeding, HRT or one of the many, MANY symptoms that we deal with every day, we want you to feel free to share your experiences here.
You’ll be surrounded by women who are going through similar experiences (including both our members and our lovely panel of health professionals) and you’ll be treated with kindness and respect.
You can ask our Gynaecologist, Nutritionist and Menopause Nurse / HRT Specialist at the following link:
https://community.livebetterwith.com/menopause/categories/ask-the-menopause-experts
You’ll be surrounded by women who are going through similar experiences (including both our members and our lovely panel of health professionals) and you’ll be treated with kindness and respect.
You can ask our Gynaecologist, Nutritionist and Menopause Nurse / HRT Specialist at the following link:
https://community.livebetterwith.com/menopause/categories/ask-the-menopause-experts
Ultimately, this is your space, and it’s important to have you help us build it into the resource that you need.
A reminder though, this should be a safe place for all of our users to visit, so please be mindful that surnames, email addresses, phone numbers and addresses should not be shared.
We look forward to receiving your questions! 😊
Blanka & Team Live Better With
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Comments
I'm Karen. An almost fifty year old Mum of two teenage boys. Married to a lovely man, who works abroad in blocks of three months, and we have two gorgeous dogs and some guinea pigs to make up the family unit.
I LOVE this community, and all that it offers. I wish I’d had somewhere like this to go to or someone to talk to so many times over the last few years. Just someone to tell me I wasn’t alone dealing with this menopause "thing", and to reassure me that I wasn’t turning into a complete fruitcake! That what I was feeling, and the symptoms I was experiencing were completely real, and not something I was making up in my head! It’s important to know that I’m not the only one answering the remote control instead of the phone, trying to get out of the car without unclipping the seatbelt, or crying at every programme on the TV for no apparent reason! Pregnancy brain is well documented, but the mind blips that come along with the menopause aren’t quite so well reported and can be frightening! It's time that as women, we lift each other up and support one another to feel better about something that’s entirely natural, if not downright awful to deal with at times! THAT'S what this forum has to offer us all.
I’ve been coping with the menopause since I had an early hysterectomy 15 years ago. I continued to have periods after my hysterectomy (who even knew that was a remote possibility!) and had to deal with that until I could get someone to believe me and help. Like a lot of you, I’ve had a tricky time, and I’ve worked hard to deal with what life has thrown at me. I’m the woman who has read all the articles I could find. HRT wasn’t an option for me due to migraines, so I’ve had to cope pretty much on my own. The internet has been a real friend guiding me towards so many things. Black cohosh and red clover. More supplements than I care to remember! Magnets in my knickers, magnets on my wrists, silk pillow cases, cooling water sprays, gel pillows, breathable fabrics, anti depressants, electric fans blowing a gale through my bedroom. I’ve had a go at a lot of things to bring relief from the worst of the symptoms. Some things worked, and some things didn’t, but the important thing was taking control and being open to finding what worked for me. Being positive despite all the symptoms was hard but really helps.
I still experience horrible hot flashes, anxiety and the curse of the sleepless nights, so I'm looking forward to hearing what everyone else is dealing with, and what you do to cope with the symptoms.
Mostly I'm excited to hear about other ladies in the forum, and learn from your stories.
Kaz
Welcome along - it’s nice to have you here! You have my admiration! Menopausal with teenagers AND little folk! You’re a warrior! Although I’m sure that you feel anything but most days
I completely understand what you’re saying. All I want for Christmas is 12 hours uninterrupted sleep (actually more than two or three hours would be a bonus) and to feel more like the “old” me. Menopause just turns everything on its head.
That makes it seem like it’s all bad news, and it isn’t really. Since I’ve joined the forum and started to see what other women are dealing with, as strange as it may seem, it actually helps to know that I’m not on my own. In some ways that let’s me relax a bit about what’s happening to me, and everything is a bit easier to cope with.
I hope you enjoy spending some time with us. Please let us know if you have questions. And once again, a very warm welcome to you. Kaz
I’m Helen. I’ve been perimenopausal for 4 -5 years now. I’m managing the hot flashes with Sage supplements but the lack of sleep, brain fog and low low libido is getting me down- and my patient hubby of 5 years!
I had 3 miscarriages and no resulting children and IVF which caused a problem with me taking hormones so no HRT will help!
I have a stressful full on job as a Registered Nurse managing a nursing home. I need to be alert and on the ball but I need strong down time with my husband.
He wants me to go to my GP but I’m reluctant as I have been before. I’ve put on 2 stone which upsets me but diets don’t work!
Help!!!!!!
H
I am trying a new supplement to improve my sleep, and I’ve had a couple of nights with really good results. I’m going to give it a week or so before I suggest it because it’s quite expensive, and I want to be sure that it’s not just because I’m shattered that I’ve slept! If it’s still working after a week or so, I’ll let you know! K
Any suggestions? 😺
Welcome to our forum, and thanks so much for sharing your story with us.
How brilliant to have the support of a lovely partner! It makes such a difference when you’re dealing with everything else!
I understand everything that you say - and although I’m not currently taking anything for my anxiety, I do think it’s a close toss up between having it prescribed for me when I’m a passenger in the car, or for my poor husband or son who have to tolerate my erratic behaviour when I’m not driving!
I use a mindfulness app regularly which I find really helps to shut out the noise in my head - and it’s exactly as your describe. Paranoia, fear, worries. It really helps me to spend ten or fifteen minutes a day just breathing and taking some space just to “be”. If you’d asked me a few months ago, I’d have said it was all mumbo jumbo nonsense, but I’m really amazed at how well it helps to keep all my anxious thoughts at bay. There are lots of apps available and some are free, so for people on a budget, there are some decent options too. I use Headspace, though I also like Calm but there are lots to choose from.
Do you take HRT or are you using any supplements to help with your symptoms?
I don’t know that hysterectomy would stop all of your symptoms, but there’s definitely a conversation to be had with your GP about how you are feeling as a result of the symptoms, and how it’s impacting on your day to day life. I’m sure everyone is bored of me suggesting writing a list for your doctor to read, but I really think that it helps your GP to understand your concerns, and it helps you to get everything you need to say out in the open. I think it also shows the GP that you’ve thought about what you want to say, and it’s not just a routine appointment for a “moan”.
I think the main thing to realise is that there are lots of us out there feeling exactly as you do right now. You’re not on your own, and it’s great that you’re talking about it with us.
Again - a very warm welcome to the forum!
Hello,
My name is Saba, I am a 68 year old physiotherapist (very much retired now) living in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. I had a full hysterectomy at 47 and went onto HRT for about 12 years which kept all the menopausal symptoms at bay ... and I felt amazing. However the cancer risk was too high (I am the only member of my family without cancer!) and so I was advised to stop. Since then I spiralled into full menopause and have had the whole gamut of symptoms. Sleep deprivation is my biggest problem with associated fatigue, restless legs and mood swings.
I find there are 3 things that help enormously and I swear by them.
1: Daily exercise - at least 30 mins of walking each day or a swim plus a quick exercise session.
2: Eating a light meal at night and NO alcohol. I can drink a glass of red wine at lunch time but not at night. Chamomile tea is my evening tipple! Eating yogurt, berries and rolled oats for a light supper really helps.
3: Black Cohost and St Johns Wort help enormously plus a daily multi vitamin and multi mineral which includes zinc, selenium,, all the Bs, C, Magnesium etc.
I could wish for more sleep but little helps with that ..... and a good book keeps me entertained in the wee small hours of the morning!
Thank you for a great course and wonderful site.
Hello @Saba ,
It's lovely to have you with us and to hear your menopause story.
I agree with you - the lack of sleep has been one of the hardest things I've found to deal with. I feel as if I'm finally getting it under control, but it's been a long haul. Books keep me company through the night too!
It sounds like you have your routine sorted - exercise, good food and supplements work really well. I remember when the children were small, I was a stickler for routine, but I find it works well for me now too! 😊
I'm so glad you're enjoying the sleep course. I hope you've managed to pick up some helpful tips.
Look forward to seeing more from you 😊
Hello
I've just joined and finding the posts very intersting reading. I'm 52 and haven't had a period for over 1 year. During my peri menopause my worst symptoms was low mood and anxiety. Spoke to my GP I was very clear I didn't want HRT and he advised St John's wort. It worked I took it for 5 months.
I take 1500mg of evening primrose oil with B6, (which i find helps my hot flushes, although they were never bad and now have nearly gone!!) calcium and vit D3 , due to thyroidectomy. I do high impact aerobics. Oh and I have a magnet in my knickers!!!
It's really good to find an honest place for us to moan, learn and share our menopause!!
Thank you :-)
Hello @Mayday1
Welcome to the forum.
It’s great to have somewhere to go where folk just “get” whatever you’re going through!
I’m fascinated with some of the things that women are prepared to share, and I’ve found this is a great way to keep things in perspective when I’m having one of those “off” days that we all get!
I hope you find lots of things to help you here! 😊
Hi
I am married with two great kids 12 and 14.
Im 38 and have been having symptoms of perimenopause for 2 years. My mum was the exact same and suffered for 10 years before being put on HRT.
I’m so glad to have found this page. No one I know can relate to what I’m going through and my GP hasn’t been much help.
Hello. I'm 56, had the merina(sp?) coil in for 5 years which was taken out in Feb. No periods now but occasional hot flushes, regular night sweats, low moods, aching joints (shoulders and legs) and not even sure if this is a menopausal symptom, aching feet so bad I struggle to walk first thing on a morning, occasional brain fog and have trouble staying asleep at night. Doctors always seem too busy to hear about anything more than one symptom at a consultation. Example of this was I had some slight bleeding after the coil removal and was also suffering from brain fog. Was told to make a second appointment for anything other than the bleed! Doesn't fill you with confidence. Oh and it was a female doctor!
Hoping to find some solutions here.
Hello @Lor_123
It's great to have you with us. Welcome!
Sorry you're feeling unsupported by your GP. I know the feeling - and it's frustrating isn't it?
Can I suggest that you ring your surgery and ask to see the person in the practice with the most menopause experience? It might not even be a GP - it could be a nurse practitioner. Whoever it is (and I hope they have at least one!), that's the person you need to go and chat to. If there is no one at your practice, you can ask to be referred to a menopause clinic if there is one in your area, or it may be worth ringing other local doctors surgeries to ask if they have a doctor with menopause experience or expertise. changing your practice might be a nuisance, but It's worth making the effort to find the support you need!
Make a list of your symptoms, get yourself armed with as much knowledge as you can about the treatment you think you need. If it's HRT, we have lots of links on the forum with really helpful information for you. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. If you want HRT - ask for it! You have a right to be given the treatment that's right for you, and you shouldn't be afraid to challenge someone who is reluctant to help.
I wish I'd had access to all this information years ago!
I'd love to hear how you get on! 😊
Hello @Debs2263
Welcome to you!
I really hope you find some solutions here too! I recognise your symptoms all too well (you could have been writing about me!) - and it somehow seems even worse when a female doctor doesn't give you the answers you need doesn't it?
I've just replied to @Lor_123 , and I think that advice would be relevant for you too.
I struggled for a long time feeling exactly like you, so I would really recommend that you try again. It really shouldn't be as difficult as it seems to be to get appropriate treatment for our menopause symptoms, and as much as I hate to keep saying it, we have to arm ourselves with the knowledge we need to be able to argue our cases for the treatment we need.
Let us know if we can help in any way! 😊
Hi
I am 56 years old, married (just about) wonderful man but with no understanding of what happens to a woman who is going through menopause☹ we have 3 adult children, oldest is in Australia, 2 daughter's living with us and we are foster carers to a young boy, so understand the other lady about age difference, all the younger mothers, 30 somethings, running around and full of life, sleep deprivation low libido, marriage totally on the rocks means I am definitely not running around!! Anyway, had other health issues, flexor muscle not working and trying to repair nerve damage to femoral and sciatic.
Delighted to have found this forum great to off load and everyone gets what we are ranting about. 😏
Many thanks
Oh hello again @Bess - I've just replied to you elsewhere on the forum!
So all I'll say here is WELCOME!
Nice to have you with us 😊
Thanks!
Love the name! 😊 Welcome to the forum!
Oh it's tricky isn't it? Knowing what to do for the best.... I've certainly experienced all the symptoms you're describing.
Sleep problems were one of the worst symptoms for me to cope with. I always feel that if you at least get a decent night's sleep, you can cope with your day. I used to get by on 2-3 hours a night, for a very long time, and it was excruciating. I'm on HRT finally, and I use the Clarity app (mindfulness) to help me get to sleep and stay asleep. The results have been transformative for me.
You are right. Blood tests can be unhelpful. If you're over 45, you won't be offered a routine blood test - a menopause diagnosis will be based on symptoms. If you're under 45, some GPs may offer to do a series of 4 blood tests over a longer period to get a better idea. It's really down to the GP.
Have you ever completed a symptoms tracker? I find it a really good tool to complete and take along to the GP. It makes you think about what's happening to you, and it gives your GP a really clear idea of what you're dealing with. It's also very apparent that the symptoms are menopause related when they're all together on the one page!
This is one of the really good ones!
https://menopausesupport.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/MENOPAUSE-SYMPTOM-CHECKER.docx
As far as anti depressants go, I'm attaching an interesting article you might find useful. I'm certainly not against using them. I've had occasion to use them in the past, and if I felt the need I would do so again, but some menopause experts including Dr Louise Newson, caution against the use of anti depressants to treat low mood, anxiety and other psychological symptoms when the culprit is not depression at all, rather symptoms caused by the reduction of oestrogen in your system. (Your symptoms tracker may give you enough evidence that HRT would be more useful to you than anti depressants if that's something that you might consider)
Anti depressants can be used to treat some menopause symptoms for women who are unable to have HRT, but it's certainly a conversation that needs some careful thought.
Recently I had a spell of awful low mood, unbearable mood swings, and crying for no reason. I asked for an increase in my HRT, and explained to my GP that it was different from the diagnosis of depression I'd previously had. This wasn't a permanent fixture, rather it came out of nowhere, and disappeared again before coming back again. Depression is a fairly constant beast. An increase in my HRT took care of these symptoms fairly rapidly.
See attached https://www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/menopause/menopause-and-depression
https://d2931px9t312xa.cloudfront.net/menopausedoctor/files/information/298/telegraph%20Helen%20Fitzgerald%20May%202019.pdf
I've certainly tried a lot of supplements over the years. I had almost 15 years of symptoms before I finally got a prescription for HRT. Some worked, and some didn't - and it's very hard to recommend. What worked for me, might not work for you and vice versa.
If you have a read through the forum, you'll see some of the things that we've all tried to help with our symptoms, and don't forget you also have access to our experts via their expert discussion threads.
Ask any questions you like! We're happy to answer! And we're delighted to have you with us on the forum. 😊
My surgery was just this past March, and all of it is kinda kicking my butt! Brain fog, night sweats, hot flushes (just really just hot all the time), mood swings, bloating/weight gain, sleep issues (on top of fibromyalgia)...
I am doing pellet HRT-just 5 weeks into the first insertion. They do seem to help a little, but I can NOT focus! Things I used to be SO interested in or passionate about have just changed! Ugh. I am also a certified nutrition specialist, so am always researching supplements and dietary requirements.
Just came home from a 2-week 3,000 mile road trip vacation where we spent 3 nights in hotels, 5 nights at my parents’ house, and 4 nights camping in different locations. I’m WIPED out!!
I’m really looking forward to learning as much about what the next couple of months will look like as possible. Never even thought that I would be going through menopause during summer! Oops!
Thank you for creating this forum! :-)
-Heather
A very warm welcome to you. I'm wiped out just reading your post!
I know what you mean - it's strange how your focus changes, and it's awful to feel as if you're losing interest in your own life! Menopause symptoms + summer = 🔥🔥
I'm not familiar with pellet HRT - it's not something that's widely used in the UK. It can be, but it's rare. I guess like every HRT, you should be feeling some benefit after 5 weeks, but it will probably take 2-3 months to feel real effects, and up to 6 months for it to have settled properly in your system. I had some initial side effects with my HRT - some bloating, some breast tenderness and PMT-like symptoms, but that settled after 6-8 weeks, and I've been feeling great since then.
There are lots of things you can try to help with your symptoms. I guess my best advice would be to grab a drink, and take a while to read through some of the posts on the forum. There's lots of information about all sorts of issues - if you need to know something, just ask!
Remember we have experts on hand too - just post on their discussion threads for an answer from them.
As far as help with sleeping - I use a mindfulness app called Clarity. There are other available, but this one is designed for women, by women, and I really love the results. I sleep, and it also helps with anxiety. I've even tried it to help reduce my flushes and it sounds crazy, but that works too! Perhaps that's worth a try to help?
We are delighted to have you with us - hope you find some useful tips! 😊
Thanks so much for taking the time to give such a detailed reply - all of this information is really useful, the tracker is a great resource (I will complete and take this to the doc) and also the information on anti-depressants. So pleased to have discovered this forum and I’m really grateful for what you shared, thanks so much x
I can't sleep .. had a stressful period and now I am awake My brain has switched on and there isn't an off switch .. and on top of that anxiety and panics I am 58 had a hysterectomy at 51 and didn't take hrt .. I lost my job because and life is miserable .. I feel the adrenals and palpitations at night and when I get too upset I dry retch .. this is not me at all!!!
Hi there
This certainly is a very useful forum.
I went on hrt in May and was getting along lovely. My hot flushes went and my sleep was wonderful. I was on evorel 50. Then we had the hrt shortage and I had to change my patches to Estroderm. I started getting terrible headaches, dizziness and an inbalance feeling. I changed to gel but no let up so I came off it in November.
The headaches went but couldnt shift the imbalance feeling. I managed to get a referal to a private ENT dr. Between booking and up to the appt, I started to improve a bit but my nightsweats came back with avengance. This suggested that after 6 weeks of being off hrt it was out of my system. I started taking menoserene on recomendation but 2 weeks no change yet but it says give it at least 3 weeks!!!
On seeing the consultant, it appears i have inbalance problem possibly caused by the hrt. Has snyone else experienced this?
As it had improved im seeing how it goes or I will go back. Although, the day after I saw him I felt rotten again, typical!
So my mirena is about to run out. I suppose it will need to come out. If im off hrt, i wont need it for the progesterone. Just hoping the menoserene( which has fab reviews works for flushes!!) Im also interested in Serenity cream. I wonder if anyone has tried that.
What a pickle. Its one thing after another and all because I changed my hrt!!!!
Hello fellow Menos!
I'm Geri, almost 57, married, mum of two grown up beautiful young men and I feel like I've been menopausal for half my life!
My doctor took me off HRT when I turned 51, though now admits she would have kept me on longer these days. I'm on Venlafaxine for sweats and Vagifem for dryness, which really only sort of works. My (our, because my husband is affected by this!) biggest problem at the moment is complete lack of libido on my part. Possibly because sex is uncomfortable at best, painful at worst. I'm trying to keep trying, but it's so hard.
Anyway, I'm holding on to the idea that one day it will all go back to normal! 🤞
@Gerijo @Sylk
This is a great group and we welcome you to the group. I am experiencing the same issues low libido and dryness which causes me painful sex. My doctor put me on Yuvafem vaginal cream but I can't say if it really worked or not because I haven't tried having sex I can't tell a story a little scared because it has been so painful in the past. I am really hoping that it will work.
We also have an expert on our panel that can give you suggestions with your vaginal dryness and I have tagged her in this conversation.
Maybe this will help https://menopause.livebetterwith.com/blogs/stories-info/best-products-and-top-tips-for-vaginal-dryness.
Look forward to speaking with you again in some of the chats and welcome again to the group.
@Gerijo
Have you spoken to your partner about this? It definitely helps to explain what is going on. I would also encourage you to spend some quality time together just having fun....take the pressure off about having sex.
I think you would also benefit from using a good quality lubricant when you are having sex - it will make everything feel really slippery so sex is much more comfortable and enjoyable. Sylk is a plant-based water-soluble lubricant that is pH friendly and free from hormones, parabens and nasty chemicals - so can be used in conjunction with vagifem and HRT. You can use as much or as little as you need. You can buy it in larger Boots stores and over the counter at all chemists. You can also try for free by ordering a free sample sachet at www.sylk.co.uk.
@Sylk Thank you for the information, I think I am going to order it and see how it works for me. I have had so many bad experiences with dryness and tightening and it hurts so badly to have sex and I am looking for some relief myself. Yes, we do need to spend more quality time together and I think that assists a lot with the intimacy. My libido is low too and I have been looking for something to help with that issue as well.
Hubby's been very understanding, but he knows it's frustrating for me as well. will definately order some, but like @MonicaM said, the libido is the real issue. I just don't feel things the same way I used to. :(
Hello so I'm Urssy. 49 and mum of 3. Oh and a grandmother lol
I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself
I've just made my 1st post and am now looking forward to having a look around the site, I can already see how helpful everyone is.