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Feeling invisible

wattoo1971wattoo1971 Posts: 21 ✭✭
edited June 26 in Menopause at Work

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't posted in a long time I thought things were going well but as normal life comes up bites you on the bum. Since starting my menopause adventure if you can call it that, I seem to be disappearing certainly in the eyes of my employer, my husband, the world. I think I'm just seeing as that and menopausal woman who used to do a good job and I'm now being superseded by younger more alert people. That's quite hard to deal with and it now makes me feel as though I am surplus to requirements.

Never underestimate how difficult this is for any woman to adjust to. Particularly when you've been used to being seen as in control on your game and the person to go to for all the answers. It's now difficult to watch other people being treated as the font of all knowledge the person with the answers the person who can sort all the problems and I'm just overlooked. Sorry for the rant just feeling very low unsure of myself lacking in confidence And self-esteem and not knowing what to do now because I feel past my prime. I know nobody has all the answers but I really like to hear from other people who are going through this thanks .

Comments

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 188 mod

    @wattoo1971

    I understand fully how you feel. I feel the same way at my job and it is really messing up my self esteem and confidence. I am starting to feel old between the forgetfulness and not feeling needed. The other day I felt like crying. I keep making little mistakes at my new job and I feel like I can’t focus and I just feel like I am not as good as I used to be.

    I am only 52 but where I work I am pretty much the oldest on the management team and I feel like I don’t fit in.

    Wattoo, I understand perfectly what you are going through.

    I am trying to focus more, take my time when I can doing my work, keep telling myself that I can do this sometimes this work and sometimes it doesn’t.

    I feel invisible at times too

  • wattoo1971wattoo1971 Posts: 21 ✭✭

    Oh Monica it’s awful, not sure if it’s just because of how we feel at the moment, but it is very real isn’t it love xxx

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 188 mod

    @wattoo1971 yes it is awful

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 188 mod

    @wattoo1971

    I wanted to check in with you to see how you are feeling now.

  • wattoo1971wattoo1971 Posts: 21 ✭✭

    It’s even worse now I am working from home. I have been told I am not needed to attend meetings via zoom which just amplifies my feelings of insecurity. I am starting to feel thick. I can’t concentrate working from home. I was supposed to apply for a degree course and I haven’t. I felt that I wouldn’t be able to do it so I haven’t bothered. I haven’t realised how low I have become x

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 188 mod
    edited May 26

    @wattoo1971

    I apologize I am now just seeing your response. I am sure it is challenging feeling like you aren't needed at work on the zoom meetings but you know what maybe take that negative and turn it around to a positive. Do something that will enhance your skills and abilities and maybe take your experience and skills to another company where they may appreciate you more. You can do the course, I think you will do fine. It maybe a little scary at first but try something new and try to take your mind off of it.

    Keep saying to yourself you got this and you can do it Wattoo1971. We can't let these young people bring us down we have wisdom and talent that they have never even seen or done before.

    I am saying all of this to you because I am teaching myself to talk positively over my life and realize I didn't come this far to overcome my insecurity. Lets try to tame our insecurity and put our energies into something that will make us feel better. Not being on those meetings gives you time to focus on you.

    I hope I wasn't being to harsh because I wasn't trying to be just trying to help and learn to do the same advice that I am giving to you.

    Have a good night.


    Maybe one of our experts can you help you too @Steven



  • StevenSteven Posts: 15 Menopause Anxiety & Stress Expert

    Hi @wattoo1971

    I know of so many women who feel just like you, so you're certainly not alone in this. Feel free to take a look at my page, which Monica has put a link to above, and you will find a number of useful strategies for helping to change your mindset and think in a different way. Often, when these things happen in the workplace, it is life's way of providing an opportunity to open another door.

    I hope you find some useful ideas on my page to help you.

    Best wishes,

    Steven

    Check Out Menomagic to find out more about tackling hot flushes
    Follow Menomagic & Sole Therapies on Facebook
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  • TuppsTupps Posts: 3

    Hello, I'm new to this community and amazed how your experiences and emotions mirror mine @wattoo1971 @MonicaM

    I was diagnosed as peri-menopausal a month ago. I'm trying Citalopram (antidepressent) which has helped with night sweats and lessened hot flushes, but the brain fog is still a shocker. I was wondering whether either of you (or anyone reading this) are on HRT and whether this might help with brain fog... I'm thinking of speaking to my GP about switching but don't know what to do for the best. All I know is that I'm failing at doing my job well at the moment and, in the current climate, I can't risk being considered unfit for my role.

    Thanks

  • MonicaMMonicaM Posts: 188 mod

    @Tupps

    Yes a lot of us on this forum are experiencing very similar symptoms and we are here to support one another.

    I heard that antidepressants can help with hot flushes and not sweats, me personally haven’t used them.

    I have brain fog quit a bit especially when I am stressed out at work. It is quit annoying because you don’t feel like yourself and you feel frustrated and I felt less than a lot. I did loose my job for 4 months and I start my new job on Monday and I am worried that it will happen again. While I was wasn’t working I didn’t experience it much but when I did work I did. I think for me because of menopause and I get stressed my body reacts differently to it including me having brain fog. I try to relax and not less the stress get to me and sometimes I just try to slow down with work and take it one day or one tasks at a time and slowly try to think about what I am doing to get the job done.

    I hope this helps but I am not a doctor or an expert maybe @DianePorterfield-Bourne can give us more details about this.

    I am not taking HRT so I don’t know if it helps or not.

  • Diane Porterfield-BourneDiane Porterfield-Bourne Posts: 262 Menopause Nurse Practitioner

    @Tupps

    Thank you for writing in about your symptoms, experiences and how you are feeling. Thanks @MonicaM

    Many women are prescribed anti depressants in menopause. They can help with some symptoms and some women. The most important thing is understanding the causes of your feelings and physical symptoms. If you have diagnosed as peri menopausal, then HRT would be worth considering.

    Brain fog is very common and can be very debilitating. You mentioned about work, I hear this all too often where women are given verbal or written warnings about their performance, sickness etc.

    As you have been told its menopause talking to your GP about HRT is a good option. I prescribe HRT and I use it myself. Having a discussion with your GP, then your employer about how you feel and why. It's important to seek professional help, as if your employer takes any action, you have discussed this health condition with your GP.

    If you would like to know more on HRT please check out my videos on here.@Blanka_C could you help direct her?

    There remains so much conflicting advice around menopause, I aim to dispel the myths and provide facts.

    Best wishes

    Diane Porterfield Bourne.

  • Blanka_CBlanka_C Posts: 346 Community Admin

    Hi @Tupps,

    Welcome to this lovely group!

    I can see @DianePorterfield-Bourne and @MonicaM gave some excellent advice already and I just wanted to share a couple more resources for you to perhaps look at, specifically around HRT and talking to your GP. :)

    It's glad to hear the anti-depressants somewhat helped with your hot flushes, but as Diane mentioned it might be worth talking to your GP about other options, including HRT to help with your symptoms! I'm on Citalopram myself and it certainly helped with my mood swings and anxiety.

    We actually have a live Q&A session with Diane about HRT tomorrow if you'd like to join (it's FREE)!

    More information and how to join:



    Have a fab day,

    Blanka x

  • Diane Porterfield-BourneDiane Porterfield-Bourne Posts: 262 Menopause Nurse Practitioner

    Dear @Tupps

    Please listen in tomorrow, I will cover as much as possible but if you need more questions answering please write back or PM me on here too.


    Best wishes

    Diane Porterfield Bourne.

  • TuppsTupps Posts: 3

    Hi @DianePorterfield-Bourne

    Thanks so much for your feedback. I'm afraid I missed your Q&A session, was it recorded?

  • TuppsTupps Posts: 3

    Hi @Blanka_C

    Thanks for your feedback too. I spoke to my GP about switching to HRT and she instead suggested I try an increased dose of Citalopram in the first instance. So I'm on 20mg instead of 10mg. Feeling a little less anxious but focus/concentration issues still remain. I only increased the dose last week and the GP said give it 4 weeks.

  • Diane Porterfield-BourneDiane Porterfield-Bourne Posts: 262 Menopause Nurse Practitioner

    @Tupps

    That's OK. I hope my feedback helped.

    @Blanka_C can you put the link up please.


    Best wishes

    Diane Porterfield Bourne.

  • Blanka_CBlanka_C Posts: 346 Community Admin

    Hi @Tupps,

    You can watch the Q&A session back at the following link - hope you find it useful! :)



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