I am at my wits end and could do with some support.
I am menopausal and feeling so low.
My periods have stopped and all symptoms are in full flight now. Hot flushes, sweats, itching like something is crawling on my skin, dry skin, thin hair, hair growing where I don’t want it, bloating, wait gain, insomnia, vaginal dryness, total lack of sex drive, painful sex on the rare occasion it happens, headaches, joint aches, memory loss, anxiety, low self esteem, crying randomly and anger like I’ve never felt before.
The hormone fairy has been good to me !
The worst part of this is the total lack of understanding on my husbands part. He is behaving like a spoilt child. I’m sure he thinks this is like a virus and will clear up in a week or two !
Unfortunately he is metaphorically speaking walking around with his privates out ! (Mid life crisis) devouring young females with his eyes. Making me feel ten times worse.
He keeps asking me what’s wrong with me ? Why don’t I want him ? Am I having an affair ? Is he serious ? He raises his eyes up when I say I’m tired or aching like I’m using this as an excuse to not pay him attention. Why am I crying ? I tell him I have absolutely no idea and he stomps off in a huff.
I keep asking him to please read about menopause symptoms to help him understand. He got to the sex part and lost interest in the rest !
I am taking some herbal supplements but so far they are of no benefit. I am scared to talk to the GP as antidepressants have never suited me and HRT makes me think I’ll get breast cancer or something as my mum kept banging on about how bad it is. My dad also thinks it’s funny to say ooh you’re going through the change ! Big help ! I walk my dog daily which gets me out of the house it also gives me breathing space when I’m angry. I do mindfulness and keep busy to take my mind off things. I’m doing my best -alone.
Support network - zero (I have two teenage sons also)
I think just writing this has helped a lot as I have no one to talk to about how I’m feeling and venting is good.
I have always had a great sense of humour but even laughing seem futile now !
Thanks for listening/reading
Things have been fairly quiet on the forum lately - but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy!
I helped start a campaign - and I wondered if you might like to hear about it?
We are Pausitivity – a group of four ordinary women, who have never met, but who have joined together to raise awareness of menopause symptoms. Our aim is to inform women and enable conversations about menopause with GPs, family members, friends and work colleagues. We have no funding. We simply want women to recognise their symptoms and be able to have the conversations they need in order to get help.
It’s a simple concept – we want people to download and print our poster, share a selfie to social media to raise awareness, then put the poster on a wall anywhere that women (and everyone else!) will see it – GP surgeries, gyms, shops, workplaces. The aim is very much to encourage conversations about menopause – and just eight weeks since the campaign started, that’s exactly what has happened. A couple of weeks ago, we reached 951k people!
We would like to see our posters in every GP surgery, and on notice boards in hospitals, cafeterias, staff rooms and waiting rooms all over the UK. Anywhere where women, and everyone else, will see the poster and begin to recognise the symptoms.
We already have the backing of the Scottish Government, with the poster being used around Holyrood, we’ve been asked to take part in Menopause Awareness sessions at Holyrood, Bradford University has used it during their Menopause Awareness Week, and East England Ambulance Service has recently launched its own menopause survey and are going to link the poster into that. Manchester City Council have given their backing and we also have interest from Health Boards in Wigan, Sheffield, Newcastle and East Lancashire. We have MPs, and GPs (including Dr Sarah Jarvis, Dr Amir Khan and Dr Zoe Williams) supporting us, women all over the UK and North America are joining in and the momentum we have established in such a short time is a sure sign that there is a not only a huge appetite, but a definite need for menopause information.
We're off to the House of Commons on 14th October for World Menopause Day! We'll be there as guests of Eddie Hughes, raising awareness of the campaign.
We would love to work with all the Health Boards across the UK, but as the Scot in the group, my interest to begin with is driving this forward wherever I can in Scotland. Moray Council have already shared some poster selfies for us, and now that recess is over, one of our local councillors is aiming to get the poster distributed as a part of their menopause policy. We’d love your help to get our poster in prominent places to help end the taboo around menopause.
NHS Grampian have been incredibly supportive and are sharing the poster across their social media outlets. I'm in talks with Prof Grant Cumming to improve menopause services across my home area of Moray.
Schools in England will have menopause added to their sex and relationship lessons from sometime next year - I'll be working with local MSPs to see the same happen in Scotland.
Lots of exciting things happening on our new website - find out who we are, and why we’re doing this
Twitter @Pausitivity2 and @Karen_Kenning