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complex issuse

Hi im Rob;never done anything like this before.

A quick personal history and you will see why this is a complex issue.

chronological history.

My wife died 2 months ago from lung cancer.

One month earlier i was diagnosed with prostate and bone cancer and not given too long to live.

Four weeks ago i very conveniently broke my right hip,and therefore required emergency hip replacement!

As you all can see it has not been a tme full of laughs!

I am a fighter and never give up and try never to get "down".

I have no idea how this or any other forum works,so if anybody out there can help i would be truly greatful

I live alone but do have some fantastic carers coming in to look after me so i am not lonely.

Over to anyone else for comment.

I am NOT looking for sympathy ; just some helpful input.

Cheers Rob


  • LizzyB73LizzyB73 Posts: 112 Oncology Specialist Nurse

    Hi @Rob59

    Welcome to this forum and I do hope you will find the group very supportive. So sorry to hear about your wife and then to find you were diagnosed too.

    Are you receiving any cancer treatment at the moment? If so can I help with answering any questions on that side?

    How are you recovering from your recent hip replacement? Glad you have support from carers assisting you at present.

    Please come back to me with any specifics and I will try and help

    all my best wishes

    Liz 🌻

    Liz Bradley
    Oncology Specialist Nurse | Oncology Service Manager @ Springfield Hospital
  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,273 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2020


    Good evening Rob

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing someone so close is really hard to cope with at any time but with your own cancer diagnosis and hip fracture on top, it must be particularly challenging for you.

    I was diagnosed with an aggressive (Gleason 9) and inoperable prostate cancer nearly four years ago. The initial prognosis was quite negative, but my treatments have been pretty successful and I am doing much better than originally expected. A year ago, a friend I met through MacMillan Cancer Support was diagnosed with prostate cancer which had invaded his bones. He contacted Prostate Cancer UK and was accepted to take part in a clinical trial and it has given him a boost, knowing that he is actually doing something. For my part, I have found it really helpful sharing information and emotions with people who understand what I am going through and knowing I am not alone. This community is very friendly and we love to support each other through the cancer journey. I do hope that you will keep in touch.



  • Rob59Rob59 Posts: 27 ✭✭

    Hi Rob,

    I really appreciate your reply.I am in touch with an excellent MacMillan nurse and her team whom have been very supportive throughout a mind numbingly bizarre and at times surreal few weeks;a kind of 1960s art house movie!

    I am very sorry to hear of your own serious problems and i trust that by sharing information and more importantly the emotional support you receive are of a positive benefit.Do you have family members to share such issuse with?Your support and that of other people in similar circumstances is of a great comfort;communications at such an emotionally charged time are of massive importance not only to me but to all concerned.

    Keep in touch;and i wish you well for the future;


  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,273 ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi Rob

    I am pleased to hear that you have been supported my the MacMillan nurses during such a difficult time for you.

    My own situation is OK now and thank you very much for your concern. I am fortunate that I have my wife and this lovely group of people to share and chat with.

    You have had an enormous amount to cope with and I think it is amazing that you are getting through without letting things get too much. At one point in my journey, I did get very low and my doctor suggested that I try counselling which was arranged for me through MacMillan. My counsellor really helped me to find my way through the fog and I still keep in touch with her three years later. I am not suggesting that you necessarily need the support of a counsellor but my experience was very positive and it may be something to keep in mind.

    All the best


  • Rob59Rob59 Posts: 27 ✭✭

    Hi Rob,

    I"m very pleased to hear that your situation has been resolved and that yor wife and "the group" have been so supportive.I have a brilliant older sister whom travels 400 miles to stay and support me.We both are keen musicians(guitars) and key boards ,so that keeps me amused.

    I personally dont think counselling would work for me as i have an inbuilt mechanism that seems to prohibit me from getting down or "depressed"(i still dont know if that is a good or bad thing?)

    I also have a very good friend who lives locally ,is very funny and is into the same kind of music as me,(ie blues both acoustic and electric.My way of coping with adversity is to ignore the reallity and always remind myself that somewhere there is someone who is far worse of than me(ie not to wallow in self pity) I appreciate that all these techniques are not for everyone but it seems to work for me!

    If this makes me sound like some weird individualI can assure you i am no different than anyone weall have different mechanisms for dealing with adversity

    good luck for the future,


  • Rob59Rob59 Posts: 27 ✭✭

    Hi everyone, i am probably writing on the wrong page. (Rob 59)

    Just a quick heads up for all of you read my really dumb missives. I bought a new car this week ( not brand new i ain't that rich ( hahahaha). The guy i bought it off is a mate of mine. I bloody forgot Martin is a brilliant blues guitarist, so friends i think you can guess the rest, that's right we have recorded a whole album together, it will eventually be on you Tube. and hopefully CD, profits going to various charities.

    My good friend Alison ( who is a Church minister ) and i have had a very long conversation about faith ,i have decided to go with her to her Church next Sunday ,i used to race very fast motor bikes 150-170mls per hr. I promise you i am far more scared of going to church than riding bikes ,;or playing guitars in a packed pub, or climbing up Cologne Cathedral ( yes i really did do that). my point ( if there is one ) is if you really try ,we can achieve anything we want to. I will let you know how i got on ; i will probably drive hell for leather back down south to my home town of Chichester.

    Thanks for reading my drivel; back now to the brilliant John Butler on u Tube. stay safe Rob59.

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