I am so sorry to hear you are so unwell with an infection which has put you in hospital.
I really hope you begin to see a turnaround very soon, and you begin to pick up again.
Sending you huge hugs,
We have been posting on ‘Furry Friends’ in the ‘Cancer Coffee Break’ section and I thought of you even though you would not say Splash is furry, of course.
I do hope that you are now out of hospital and feeling much better.
Take good care.
Hello sorry to have to say that I am still in hospital. Apparently I have some sort of super bug. I am hoping to be able to go home next week but will still need to be on the antibiotics for another month.
Goodness knows when I will start my treatment again.
I am so sorry to hear this. How awful for you, and very frustrating too I am sure. I know you will be missing being at home and seeing Splash obviously. I hope the antibiotics are beginning to have an impact on this infection and you do get to go home this next week.
Sending you huge hugs and peace,
So disappointed for you. I do hope that the antibiotics are doing their job and that you will be able to go home next weekend. Splash will be waiting for you.
Hi Lorna, Catherine,
You have both been on my mind lately. I was wondering how you are doing?
Catherine have you been able to return home yet from hospital?
Lorna how are you?
Just thinking of you both, sending huge hugs.
Hi I came home last Saturday night after 3 weeks in hospital. Can't believe how weak I am but after losing a stone and not moving much I shouldn't be surprised.
Been home a week but still have no appetite and to be honest I'm feeling really low and weepy - I really don't know what's wrong with me. It's so unlike me. To top it all my cat had to be put to sleep while I was in hospital and I never got to say goodbye to him.
Kes is back at work so I'm on my own all day which is not good but he's just been told he's going to be made redundant.
It's just like everything is too much but hopefully it will pass.
I am glad to hear you are home, but very sorry to hear how you are feeling.
Being so unwell and having to stay in hospital has taken its toll on you. It is understandably difficult. I imagine trying to gain strength and recover is very tiring, physically and mentally.
I am truly very sorry to hear about your cat, I know completely how devastating that is, and the heartbreak you feel over losing him.
The stress of your husband's work situation must add to the overall stress you are living with. That is not good news, I do hope he will be able to find alternative employment very soon.
I get that it feels like it doesn't stop, how much more can you take, you think to yourself. It is relentless.
Do you have friends who are free at times during the day who you could see? Being on your own all day is probably not a good thing. But also I know sometimes there is no choice.
The feeling low and weepy is really not unusual or surprising given recent events. Is it possible to chat with anyone else about this near you? I would suggest it when you can, just in case depression starts and you deteriorate further. Would you be able to contact your dr, or make contact with the Macmillan Cancer Support in your area? I know they are very supportive.
Have you any strength to go and visit Splash? Is he paddocked nearby?
I wish I could visit you, but please know I am always here, I know its not the same as chatting face to face. But anytime you just want to hang out here, please contact me.
Sending you lots of hugs and love. Please keep in touch.
Thanks for your advice Lou. I realize that I need to talk to someone so am going to ring the Macmillan line.
I've just been out for a little walk to try and build myself up - can't believe how weak I am.
Kes took me to see Splash on Sunday which was great but I'm not really strong enough to go on my own at the moment.
At least I understand why I'm feeling like this and do know that it will pass. I'm normally a very positive person so know that I can get through this.
I've been so low I've not felt like seeing any one which I realized is not good, so when two people rang me today and asked if they could come round I made myself say yes.
It's just this stupid crying - didn't realize how many tears one person could have!!
I'm feeling better already after having just written it down and chatting to friends about it.
Am seeing oncologist on Thursday so will know what is happening going forward, although don't feel well enough for chemo.
I will let you know what is happening.
Thanks again for everything.
So sorry to hear about everything you are having to cope with. It is no wonder you are so low and feeling weepy. It is good to hear that you are going to take Lou’s advice and contact MacMillan. They rescued me at a time when I was severely depressed and I still visit them regularly.
It is lovely to know that you have friends who want to come and see you and good for you that you felt able to say ‘Yes’ at a time when you probably didn’t feel like it.
I think it is amazing that you managed a little walk after so long in hospital. I remember you were 7st 7lb and given that, a stone is an awful lot to lose. I do hope the walk worked up an appetite.
I do hope that you will keep in touch.
Thanks for your kind words.
Yes I will keep in touch, I've just found every thing too much at the moment.
I did ring Macmillan today but it was busy and I didn't leave my number for them to ring me back - what a cop out!!
I'm just worried that if I speak to them I will just cry and cry and they will think I'm stupid or something.
@Sunshinedaff @KitKat @Rob70
Hi Lou Catherine and Robert
Lou - thank you for your kind message and sorry for being out of touch for ages. I needed to get a password reset to get back on site after reading your message this morning.
Do hope you are well and enjoying the autumn sunshine.
I have had three EC chemo treatments so now half way through. Can’t say I have found it pleasant but then again have not been ill. Finding the first ten days after treatment can be hard and then in the last ten days it is easier to do normal things although I still get easily tired. So this is my good week when I try to catch up with friends . So have been out for lunch and the afternoon!!
Catherine- Sorry I was out today as when I read your message I wanted to pick up the phone. Will text tomorrow and see if you are up for a call. You are strong and soon you will feel better. You have been so unwell don’t be too hard on yourself - take it day by day. Sorry to hear about Kes’news.Another thing to worry about.
Rob hope you are well and it’s warmer in Jersey than in Scotland.
Thanks for all your good wishes and I will be forever indebted to you for all the support you gave me when first diagnosed. It’s true that once you know what you are dealing with you find the strength to get through. So many thanks and now I have anew password I will write it down this time !
No need to feel worried about crying because. MacMillan will most certainly not think you are stupid. When I first popped in to see them, I burst into tears on the spot. They took me in, looked after me and gave me the love, support and encouragement I needed.
Keep posting Catherine, we will always be here to help each other through the tough times and to celebrate the wins together.
@Jojodot @KitKat @Sunshinedaff
Lovely to hear from you.
Haha, those passwords.🤭 I have so many and I am always getting them mixed up. We seem to need one for everything we do these days.
Great to hear that you have been well enough to meet friends for lunch and then enjoy an afternoon out.
It is not really cold here, it is damp and miserable, but we popped out this morning and looked at shoes, well Mary did! In exchange, she allowed me to have a piece of home made Bakewell tart at my favourite cafe. Got a new hearing aid too, so now I can hear all the gossip. 🤣
I didn't realise that you are in Scotland. I am practising Auld Lang Syne on my piano and I have been trying to figure out what some of the words mean.
@Jojodot , @KitKat @RobertA
It is lovely to hear from you, glad you sorted the password out, I have to write all mine down..sshhh, don't tell anyone!😄.
It is great to hear you have reached a halfway point, and brilliant that you have remained relatively well during it all. Even with that, I know it hasn't been easy by any means. Enjoying the good weeks when you are able to when they come around each time is good. I hope you had a great time with your friends, enjoying something more 'normal', nothing to do with treatment etc.
Next week you are due another round I guess, bloods etc permitting. I hope that goes smoothly for you.
Unfortunately the weather has decided to turn a lot colder down here, I expect being in Scotland you are more used to it, my parents used to live in Scotland, I always found it so much colder..lol😄.
Catherine, please do not think that your tears are stupid in any way, Rob is absolutely right when he says what Macmillan will do and say, try and give them another call on another day when you feel a little bit more able.
You will always find a listening ear and understanding heart here, anytime, about anything. I hope today has been a little easier for you.
Sending you all huge hugs,
@Jojodot @Sunshine53@Rob70@RobertA @Sunshinedaff @Rob70@Sunny139
So had to visit the doctor today - none cancer related. I mentioned that I am so weepy and they reassured me that it was perfectly normal after what I'd been through.
She reiterated that I'd been extremely poorly with sepsis and that it would take a while to recover both physically and mentally. She also told me my liver levels are low, my kidney functions everywhere plus I'm anaemic. She said it is also proven that a long stay in hospital can have such effects.
Feel so much better after our little chat and glad that I won't be going into an asylum ha ha.
Thanks to you all.
I am so pleased you were able to see your Dr today and she was able to explain and put everything into persepctive for you. I am sure that must have reassured you. No, a van will not be appearing to take you off anytime soon! Not good re your other symptoms, hopefully this will improve soon. Are there any meds that will help wirth that, or is it related to the chemo treatment?
I do hope you have a little more peace since your appointment, and you can concentrate on recovering from this illness and get stronger.
Has your appetite improved over the last couple of days? If you are struggling to eat are you able to get some meal supplements that may provide some necessary minerals and nutrition?
Rest well this evening, sending big hugs,
Lovely to hear from you and of course it is perfectly normal to feel weepy. I have not forgotten that you have been through cancer on three previous occasions and together with the latest one and the sepsis, you have really been through the mill.
Pleased to hear that you are feeling better, and hopefully hungry too. We are with you all the way.
Just to let you know that I had appt with oncologist yesterday. At the moment I am not well enough to start treatment. My kidney and liver functions are sky high and I am severely dehydrated which she said was another reason for me feeling so unwell. I know I'm not eating or drinking enough but it's really hard when you don't have any desire to do so.
Going to see her in December before which I've got to have another full body CT scan.
So in the meantime I'm going to try to eat and drink more.
Love to you all. Xx
Thank you for the update. Our kidneys and liver have to work so hard at the best of times. I hope more fluids and nourishment will help you to get better.
Very best wishes for you.
PS. I have just read your other entries on this thread, about the sepsis etc - had no idea. Yes, that'll take a little time to recover from. And I guess they are doing the scan to help keep an eye on things. Which is good. Rooting for you Catherine!
Awww thank you for your lovely comments. So hard to eat and drink when you have no appetite.
Did you read my post about feeling very low and weepy - thought I was going crazy ☹️.
Luckily a 30 minutes chat with my doctor sorted me out especially when she explained how poorly I had been. She also said it was a very common reaction after people had been in hospital for several weeks.
Good news - not cried for 2 days so definitely progressing.
Have a great weekend.
Yes, I did read that, and so pleased that your doctor did take the time to listen, explain and reassure you.
Illness, hospital treatment, the constant start and stop and change re cancer treatment, the worry all that brings, the rest of life around us - it's an awful lot to carry. It'll drain even those of us who like to think they are as strong as an ox!
Take it slowly. Personally, I think crying can be helpful. It is an outlet for our emotions, esp when there is so much going on. If we cry a lot, it can mean there is a lot that has been building up. It may settle down in its own good time.
And eating when you are not hungry is hard. There are these high calorie nutritious drinks for patients which you can get at chemists. I cannot remember the name. That may help while you work on your appetite.
Wishing you a good weekend, too, and a good recovery.
@KitKat @KarinSieger @Sunshinedaff
Thanks for the update.
Nice to hear that you are progressing, but do try to get some nutrition as Lou and Karin suggest. It must be tough for you, but it will make so much difference.
Have a lovely weekend and say ‘hello’ to Splash.
All the best
@KitKat @RobertA @KarinSieger
It is very hard to make yourself eat or drink when you just can't face it. I think the high calorie meal supplements Karin mentioned maybe the Ensure drinks that you can get. Your Dr or pharmacy should be able to tell you where you can get them. They come in a variety of flavours. Also the Complan I mentioned in an earlier post is very nutritious, also comes in different flavours. The Complan can be mixed with milk or water, but if you have not been eating much, mixing with milk would be better.
I do hope you begin to feel stronger with each new day, you have a lot going on so don't be hard on yourself, cut yourself some slack.
I have just started a two day fast in preparation for a little procedure I am having on Thursday. I am really struggling with it as I am rather partial to my food.
It reminded me of the problem you were having with food and I hope that you are feeling a bit stronger and that you are now eating better too.
Fasting? That's interesting! Shame I can't do it for you. I've read that fasting before chemo helps reduce the effects as fasting causes cells to shut down and thus they are less damaged.
My appetite is a little bit better and I have almost reached 7st ha ha.
Mentally I'm feeling so much better. I've stopped crying and wonder now if it was a side effect of coming off morphine which I was taking for 6 weeks to help with the pain.
So at the moment I'm just enjoying not having any treatment.
Hope your procedure goes well. You will soon be back to eating again.
Good luck with it all tomorrow, Rob!
Very best. Karin
I am pleased to hear that you are feeling so much better and it must feel good to have a break from the treatment.
Haha, I’m not telling you my weight but I blame it on the steroids 😉. I don't think it is the carrot cake or the sticky toffee pudding.🤣 If I remember correctly, your fighting weight is 7st 7lb and hopefully you will get there again before too long.
Thank you both for your best wishes for tomorrow. I am hoping I will be sorted early as there is a lovely little Portuguese restaurant nearby and they do amazing espedatas. Can’t wait.
@KitKat @KarinSieger @LouiseJ
Good evening lovely friends.
Yesterday went really well and the outcome was better than I could have hoped. I have some radiation damage, but it is not serious and much better than I feared. Mary and I really enjoyed our espedatas and finished off with a giant piece of carrot cake. Yummy.
Thank you so much for your support.
Thanks Rob. That's great to hear. What relief.