Just been told I’m terminal

hi , I’m Alison, just been told I am now terminal. I am 54 , feeling very lost . Don’t show anything to family, as my parents in their 80’s. just need a hand hold x

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  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 452 mod

    @Af21

    Hello Alison,

    Welcome to the community. I am so very sorry to hear of your diagnosis and prognosis.

    I know how this must be a very difficult time for you, it is a huge time of adjustment and reflection.

    Please know I am here and others are here too, to support you, reaching out to you with a hand hold and a hug. You are not alone here, there are many others here who are also living with cancers, which as yet have no cure and are having treatment to manage the cancer and its effects.

    Please do not hesitate to get in touch at anytime, everyone here is very understanding and you can chat about anything.

    Even though you don't wish to show anything to your parents do you have anyone else, friends or family who you can share with? Of course as I said above you are more than welcome to come here and chat, on these posts or messages.

    Chat soon,

    Lou xx

  • Af21Af21 Posts: 7

    Thank you so much for reaching out! I do have a couple of friends who tell me to lean on them . However they are a long way away . I moved to the north east on diagnosis and knowing how brutal the surgery would be. Initially, we hoped for a cure but many complications and the very aggressive nature of my cancer, I am now here. I am just overwhelmed with what I have to do, in a potentially short time. I have gone ostrich!! I want to pretend this is not happening, but I know it is. I don’t want to give up, but struggle sometimes. Thank you for listening xxx

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 927 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Af21 @LouiseJ

    Hi Alison

    I am so sorry to hear your news. As Lou said, we are here to support you in any way we can. You are not alone.

    I am from the North East myself, and when I was diagnosed, I felt as though I wanted to go back but I no longer have family or friends there. It seems a pity that your friends are so far away but hopefully you can keep in touch through facebook or Skype.

    We are always here and happy to chat about anything at all. It would be lovely if you would like to keep in touch and become part of our caring and friendly community.

    Rob x

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 452 mod

    @Af21 @RobertA @KarinSieger

    Hi Alison,

    Well you can definitely lean on us here. I am sure feeling overwhelmed and yet at the same time wanting to bury your head in the sand are all very common responses.

    I know Rob has found the Macmillan Cancer Support group extremely supportive to him and his wife, I would suggest they may be of great support to you during these times.

    We also have Karin Seiger here onsite, she is our Cancer Specialist Counsellor and has a wealth of knowledge, expertise and help you may find really beneficial.

    Here for you at any time Alison. 🤗🤗

    Lou xx

  • KarinSiegerKarinSieger Posts: 82 Emotional Wellbeing Advisor

    @Af21 @LouiseJ @RobertA

    Hi Alison,

    I am sorry to hear your news. As Louise and Robert said, we are here to offer support. All of us (me included) have personal experience of cancer. You can post a question / comment for my attention here (putting @KarinSieger at the top so I see it) and I will respond.

    I should say a cancer diagnosis / prognosis, esp untreatable or terminal is a total shock to the system. The way we respond to that initially may not be the way we are going to approach and deal with it. You might need to give it some time for your mind to catch up with it.

    With best wishes for you.

    Karin

    Karin Sieger
    Psychotherapist | Writer | Podcaster | MA, BA (Hons) | Reg. MBACP (Accred)
    Helping you create new possibilities!
  • Hello Alison,

    I've noticed you haven't mentioned what type of cancer you have been diagnosed with. On saying that, I must ask have you ventured into the world of alterative natural medicine. I am talking about CBD Oil. When I was diagnosed with bladder cancer early this year I did quite a lot of research about the subject of CBD oil and spoke personally (not Googled) to people who wrere diagnosed with aggressive types of cancer and some who said their diagnosis was uncurable, who ventured into the realm of CBD Oil and is has helped tremendously. When I was at the hospital recently for a CT scan I was talking to an older gentleman who said he had a tumour in his chest about the size of a small rubber ball and he was told it was incurable. He went on 1 drop of CBD oil under the tongue each day and within 8 weeks the tumour had shrunk to the size of his little finger nail. A lady I personally know who lives in Bundaberg was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at 25 and she is now 38 and still going strong because she has changed her diet to alkaline and taking various natural substances. I personally am going on the Oil as a preventative because after 3 TURBT procedures my tumours have gone and I am using the oil as a preventative measure for it coming back. A lot of people in the medical profession do not agree with the use of CBD oil etc. but in situations like ours I believe that one should try every option available as there is nothing to lose. Generally you have to get CBD oil under the counter so to speak depending where you live and if it's legal or not. I have based my personal decision to use it on what people have told me about their personal results with the stuff, not what theorists have stated. Not one person I have spoken to who uses it has had any negative feedback on it. I do wish you well and you are in my thoughts and prayers, go with your gut feeling. And I must emphasise that I am only going my what these people have told me, but I don't believe they would be telling be fibs.

    Mike

  • Af21Af21 Posts: 7

    Hi Mike, thanks for reaching out. I’m very grateful for your support and thoughts . I have oesophageal cancer. I’ve had major surgery and 4 rounds of chemo. It is now in both lungs .The cancer is pretty unique. It has 2 strains, has not really been seen and so is very difficult to treat . I’m willing to try anything, but wouldn’t know where to start! Any suggestions or hints would be greatly appreciated! I’m very liberal thinking, so are the folks in the eighties! My email is [email protected] Thank you again, Ali

  • Best wishes and bags of good will towards you Af21, Sending prayers your way. Mike.

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