Home Cancer Expert Q&A Hub Carers Corner

Hodgkins Lymphoma

kaz01kaz01 Posts: 5
edited March 2020 in Carers Corner
My 19 year old grandson has just been diagnosed and I’m finding it so hard with anxiety as I live 200 miles away from him and his mum (my daughter) is so upset all the time


  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,273 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Good evening Kaz, 
    I am so sorry to hear that your grandson has been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. 
    It must be hard for you to be so far away at a time like this. 
    It is not surprising that your daughter is upset, the diagnosis must have come as a great shock to all of you. 
    You say that your grandson has just been diagnosed and I guess you will still be absorbing the news. Hopefully, it will get a little easier when you know the treatments that will be needed and have a plan in place. 
    My sister and niece live in Texas nearly 4000 miles away, I am able to keep in touch and see them via Facetime which can be used by people who have Apple products such as the Ipad. There are other options like Skype and Hangouts for people who don't. If you are not familiar with these services, they are free and it might be useful to speak to someone who can help set something up for you. It can make so much difference to actually see and chat to someone even though you are miles apart.

    I am pleased you have found us. We are a friendly group of people who have all experienced cancer in one way or another and we love to chat, support and empathise with one another.
    I hope you will keep in touch. 
  • kaz01kaz01 Posts: 5
    Thank you for your time, I really need the support especially the difficult time ahead and will keep in mind about FaceTiming. My grandson doesn’t seem to want to talk much about it at the moment but I’m hoping tomorrow’s appointment will give us all some more information.
  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 789 ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi Kaz,

    I am really sorry to hear about your grandson’s recent diagnosis. Being so far away from family at a time like this is very hard and you probably are wondering what on earth you can do to help. @RobertA , Rob suggestion about face timing, being available when your daughter and grandson are ready to talk is good.

    I can understand how worrying and stressful this is for you and your daughter. You all will be experiencing shock at the diagnosis, your grandson may not be able to articulate any thoughts or feelings, or he may be very vocal and expressive. Try and encourage your daughter to stay as calm as possible, anxiety and stress will make everything so much harder for everyone.

    Do you think you will be able to visit when you have more information? Once a plan of action and treatment is in place it is surprisingly a little easier to deal with. It is all the ‘unknowns’ that carry so much fear and worry.

    Please feel free to come and chat at any time. We are here to support you through this, hopefully in turn you will be in a stronger place to help your daughter and grandson through this tough time.

    Did you hear about today’s appointment?

    Thinking of you, chat soon,

    Lou x

  • kaz01kaz01 Posts: 5

    Hi Lou

    Thanks for your reply. He has been told it has spread to his chest, abdomen and spleen and is categorised as stage 3, which is not the news we were hoping for. It’s on my mind all the time as soon as I wake up in the morning. My anxiety is awful !!!!

    He has been given the option of a clinical trial which he has to decide by Monday before his next appointment. He will also be prescribed a course of steroids. It’s just going to be awful for him



  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,273 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2019


    Hi Karen

    I am so sorry to hear about your grandson's diagnosis.

    It is not surprising that you are feeling so anxious. You are right of course, it will be tough for him and it will be difficult for his Mum and also for you too. It might help a little if you were able to visit your daughter and grandson. I agree with Lou, it should get a little easier to cope when you have a plan of action and treatment in place.

    My niece in Texas went on a clinical trial for a similar condition several years ago. It worked out well for her and I hope that your grandson is equally successful.

    Rob x

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 789 ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi Kaz,

    That is very hard news to hear about the extent of the cancer.

    These decisions we need to make regarding cancer treatment etc and which direction to take are not easy. If conventional treatments are not available for your grandson, it may be a good thing to participate in a clinical trial, as @RobertA , Rob has mentioned, they can be very effective. For me, it is worth doing anything however small a chance. You never know, and new treatments and medical breakthroughs are coming forward more often now. The main thing is, not to lose hope. Hang on!

    Please come and chat any time,

    Thinking of you

    Lou x

  • kaz01kaz01 Posts: 5


    its getting close to my grandsons chemotherapy starting and I’m so worried how he’s going to cope and not being able to work which means he will have no money to live on. He’s got chemotherapy for 5 consecutive days next week which means travel to and from London have you got any advice


  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 789 ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi Kaz,

    My heart does go out to you, I can empathise with you feeling so far away from your grandson and the feeling of not being able to do much to help him. I know you are feeling very anxious, but you must take care of you too, you know you can chat with any of us at any time.

    I would suggest if he is open to it, that he contact the Macmillan Cancer Support group. They may very well be able to provide him with some information or direct help where he may be able to access financial support. There is a thing called PIP, Personal Independence Payment, that he could apply for. It is available for those living with a health condition, which cancer obviously is. The Macmillan’s are very helpful, and sometimes can actually go through the forms with patients in order to get the application in.

    I haven’t had it myself, but I know others who have.

    Do you think you are able to visit him and your daughter in the near future?

    Please keep in touch, especially with how he gets on next week.

    Thinking of you,

    Lou x

Sign In or Register to comment.