Breast cancer

AndyAndy Posts: 10

Hi, been diagnosed with breast cancer last Thursday. Since then I feel like I'm inside a washing machine.

Been in and out of hospital everyday since then. I'm starting chemo at the beggining of the month and I'm really scared, I'm actually scared of everything.

Everyone tells me to be positive and strong, but I'm finding it very difficult.

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Comments

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 847 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Hi @Andy ,

    I am so sorry you have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. I understand completely how you are feeling. A cancer diagnosis is like a living nightmare, there is no where to run from it. You will feel all over the place, especially as I expect you are having lots of tests, bloods etc prior to starting treatment. It's like being caught in a whirlwind, you just get carried along by the force of the wind.

    I know you are scared, it's ok to be scared. Ok. It may take a long time for your mind and emotions to catch up with what is happening physically. It is such a shock to be told there is cancer. It is extremely difficult to comprehend what is going on. You are not being weak or anything by feeling like you do. You have come to the right place here. There are many including me who have been through breast cancer, you will find so much support here. It is very brave of you to come on here in the first place.

    Here's the good news....the cancer in your body has been exposed, it is no longer able to hide unseen. Now, the chemo and other treatment you will have will be targeted against the tumour to destroy it. We always hope that will be successful.

    If you want to talk at anytime, feel free to start a conversation, or join in with any others. Everyone is so friendly here, either going through cancer or supporting a loved one through cancer. You will have a lot of understanding.

    Hope to chat soon,

    Lou x

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 704 ✭✭✭✭

    Good evening @Andy

    So sorry to hear of your cancer diagnosis.

    Of course you are scared, the way you are feeling is perfectly normal. Cancer is different from any other illness. It is almost certainly the disease which people fear more than any and I suspect that only people who have had it fully understand the emotional upheaval it causes. When you are told you have it, there is a lot to come to terms with and the news can throw you into confusion, but this usually gets easier as the shock wears off and the situation becomes more real to you.

    Lou is a great source of information and support and there are a number of other members who have experienced breast cancer and who will be keen to chat with you.

    This is a lovely community. It is full of courageous, caring and funny people who don’t mind when you are having a bad day and who celebrate the good ones with you, You are very welcome and I hope you will keep in touch.

    Rob x

  • Teresa67Teresa67 Posts: 2

    Hi

    So sorry for your news. I am very lucky. Mine was picked up through mammogram so I caught mine early. I was diagnosed with 2 types breast cancer on 13th Feb and told I had to have mastectomy. I went in for operation with reconstruction on the 4th April but it still feels like it is happening to someone else! I dmwas supposed to find out last Wednesday results and what further treatment bit it was postponed as results weren't in. I find out this Wednesday but it is a scary process.

    The word cancer just frightens you straight away and I am hoping I won't need chemo. That frightens me.

    I just keep saying it isn't going to be beat me and I am not ready to go! It is very hard to stay positive and be around family who hate seeing you go through it.

    Just keep saying to yourself I can't do anything about it, I can only move forward! It is difficult and there are times I just want to cry, especially lately, but I am trying to stay positive. I have been negative far too many times in my life.

    Everyone will help you through this it.

    Sending lots of love and hugs. Here whenever you want a chat xx

  • diddydi68diddydi68 Posts: 16

    Hi, I have also just been diagnosed with stage 2 invasive lobular cancer and have to wait for an mri on the 1st May to see how big the 2 tumours are before my treatment plan is decided.

    It's been 3 weeks from me first noticing a small mass to now feeling like I am living a nightmare, all my family and friends think I am being 'strong' but I feel so scared x

  • AndyAndy Posts: 10

    Hi, last Thursday had nodes taken for biopsy, today had clips put in the tumors.

    Starting chemo at the beggining of the month.

    It does make me feel like it's not me, that I don't belong anywhere.

    I am getting stronger though, I don't want this to beat me up, I love my husband and children to much to let it beat me up.

    Can't think about anything else, would like my brain to have a switch button.

    I believe we are all amazing and we just need to try our best.

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 361 mod

    @Andy , @diddydi68 , @Teresa67

    Hi ladies, firstly, as Andy has said, you are all amazing, even if you don’t feel it, or think it.

    Welcome to our lovely group, as this thread has shown and there are others, you are most definitely not alone going through breast cancer. They may be all different types, stages etc, but there will be many similar treatments, drugs and side-effects, and many others here will identify with you.

    Cancer thinks it can isolate us by the fear it brings, however, as this group has shown, what it does is bring people together who are determined to fight it with all we’ve got, supporting one another along the way.

    @Teresa67 , how is your recovery going from surgery? It is great it was found early, I will be thinking of you tomorrow as you hopefully get the results back. Whatever course of treatment it will be, take it one day at a time, yes, the thought of chemo is scary, but the good thing about it is it’s effectiveness in destroying cancer. Focus on that, if and when you have it. Chemo affects everyone differently, even with some similarities. The scary side-effects don’t affect everyone, and they have amazing anti -sickness drugs available.

    It is still very early days from diagnosis for you, and it takes a while to process it all, even for your family, who will be devastated too. It is hard, tears are ok, but you have the right attitude in being positive and beating it.

    Let me know how tomorrow goes,

    Gentle hugs 🤗

    @diddydi68

    Things are moving quickly for you, which is good, but it does leave you spinning, in a whirlwind, with no way of dealing with what is happening to you. It is terrifying, but the positive is, it’s been found and now you can concentrate on getting rid of it. It is great you have come here, as we will all support you, good days and bad days, we are here. Let us know how you get on on May 1st.

    Thinking of you, 🤗

    @Andy ,

    I hope today’s appointment went smoothly for you, have you seen the chemo nurse yet for the detailed chat about what will take place? I remember mine, most of it going in one ear and out the other! But still managing to burst into tears when the losing my hair bit came up. Well it was more like a child really..’ I don’t want to lose me hair, it’s my best bit!’

    Stay as strong as you can , you may have dark days, but you know we are here to support you at anytime. Being positive will really help you to get through these tough days ahead. It is a surreal time where you do feel like you are looking in on someone else’s life, then it hits you again that it’s you.

    I understand how your mind can’t seem to escape the thoughts of cancer etc, it is a nightmare, especially in the beginning. At night when sleep was nowhere in sight I would have some music playing in my ear all night long if necessary. I would also get up and watch dvds etc, until I dozed off. I also prayed and I know others here have used meditation techniques to help calm the mind and soul.

    Let us know how you get on

    Thinking of you 🤗

    For all of you this evening ladies, I sincerely hope that sleep comes a little easier tonight, you are among friends here.

    Chat soon,

    Lou x

  • FlowerGirl23FlowerGirl23 Posts: 12

    Diddydi68

    Don't worry ..... I was diagnosed with invasive lobular cancer stage 2 last September with two tumours. I elected for a mastectomy as opposed to a lumpectomy. This was carried out on the 11th October. I was an overnight patient......my tumour samples were sent for Oncotyping and came back as 11 - so no chemo. On Arimidex since December. Still sore but feeling positive. I had no symptoms no bumps or lumps ..... just luckily it was picked up by routine mammogram 🙏 Don't be afraid it's not so bad ❤🌹

  • AndyAndy Posts: 10

    I am worried, I'm starting chemo on Wednesday.

  • FlowerGirl23FlowerGirl23 Posts: 12

    Sorry you are worried .....all the way through my journey I have tried to be positive about it all......such as my mastectomy scar is something I'm proud of - I'm alive because of it ☺ same as the medication - its great despite making me feel sick and thinning my hair - it's killing any badness in me.

    Once you get day one over you will feel more positive yourself ....... very best of luck - I'll think of you ❤

    .

  • diddydi68diddydi68 Posts: 16

    I am having my mri scan this Wednesday and seeing the surgeon the following Thursday.

    Everyday seems like a week and now I have discovered my 15yr old daughter has been self harming!! I feel so awful for not realising how depressed she is.

  • Teresa67Teresa67 Posts: 2

    Hi

    I am very lucky! I have been told I don't need any more treatment, only mammogram every year and 5 years of tablets. I still hurt from the blisters on new breast and the tummy skin, butI cannot be more thankful for it being found early.

    Please, please make sure you go for your mammograms

    Love to you all

    Teresa

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 847 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Teresa67

    Hi Teresa,

    That is brilliant news treatment is over. Now you can focus on recovering from everything, and moving on to new and better days. I hope your skin and scar areas heal up very soon.

    Wishing you all the very best, it is always encouraging to hear when things go well, it gives others hope that they too will see it through to the other side of cancer in good health.

    Lou x

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 704 ✭✭✭✭
    edited April 29

    @Teresa67

    Hi Teresa,

    Great news and great advice. I am so pleased for you and it gives so much encouragement for others who are going through the cancer journey. Thanks for letting us know.

    Rob x

  • diddydi68diddydi68 Posts: 16

    Well I didn't manage my mri scan; had a panic attack before they had even started!

    What will happen now? They have offered me another one but I don't think I will be able to go through with it.

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 847 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @diddydi68 ,

    Hi, I am really sorry to hear you had a difficult time at your MRI yesterday. I know the machine is very noisy and the position you have to be in is uncomfortable. Do you know what it was exactly that caused you to have the panic attack?

    If you are able to find the strength to go for another one if will be really helpful as the MRI is able to pin point much more accurately the location of the tumours which will help the drs to treat you.

    I was also very sorry to hear about your daughter and the struggles she must be going through. I understand how that must break your heart. I hope that she will be able to find a way through, will she talk to someone other than yourself? The stresses of the cancer and your concerns for your daughter will be weighing heavily upon you. Do you have any other support too? I was wondering if Macmillan Cancer Support could help you?

    Thinking of you

    Lou x

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 847 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Hi @Andy

    How did you get on yesterday? You had your first chemo session? Hope you are doing ok.

    Thinking of you

    Lou x

  • diddydi68diddydi68 Posts: 16

    @Sunshinedaff

    I took my daughter to the doctor which was a complete waste of time; he said it was perfectly understandable for her to feel like she is. The Macmillan nurses have pointed us to a small charity called hope for her to see so hopefully they will be of more use to her.

    As for the mri it terrifies me, I have had 2 previously and coped with the first but panicked on the second... it's the noise. They said I can take a CD for them to play next week and the doctor has prescribed a beta blocker so fingers crossed I will manage it x

  • FlowerGirl23FlowerGirl23 Posts: 12

    You poor thing 😥 I too was terrified of the MRI bit ........ but I did get through it. Go to your GP I think that they can prescribe a sedative to calm you beforehand - please try one more go at it you may surprise yourself (if weedy old worrisome me can do it 😉). I'll be thinking of you 😊 Very sorry about your daughter ....... hopefully she'll get some counselling 🤞

  • diddydi68diddydi68 Posts: 16

    @FlowerGirl23


    Yay!! I managed the mri thank goodness so have my treatment plan appointment on May 16th.

    My daughter is now receiving counselling at school on a daily basis so that is good news and she seems a little better.

    Xx

  • FlowerGirl23FlowerGirl23 Posts: 12

    Well Congratulations 😁 although I never doubted that you would manage it. (I bet it wasn't half as bad as you thought?)

    So now to the next stage......be good to get cracking with it. Try not to worry too much - it's all doable (sometimes not nice - but doable). Make sure and ask loads of questions so that you are happy that you know exactly what is happening 😀

    Delighted about your daughter too .....bit of extra support will help her greatly.

    Good luck and if you want to chat ......I'm here ☘🥀🌹🌻🌼

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 847 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @diddydi68

    Hi,

    Well done on going through with the MRI, it's a big thing to overcome given how you have felt previously. It's good you have a start date for treatment too, just take it one day at a time, as @FlowerGirl23 has said, ask as many questions as you need to so you feel as comfortable about it as you can. Focus on the end result, will help you to get through this next stage.

    If we can answer any questions or anything just say, let us know how you get on.

    I am really glad the school have scooped up your daughter providing her with some support, I hope that will continue to help her to get through time too. I remember both of mine needed extra support, my youngest especially was able to talk about things she didn't want to worry me with. She thought she was helping. The school were great, talking about what I was going through with her. We had a two-way communication going between school and us.

    Thinking of you,

    Lou x

  • diddydi68diddydi68 Posts: 16

    @Sunshinedaff @FlowerGirl23

    I have to have a mastectomy next Friday.

    Now,it sounds silly, although I am scared it's a sort of relief to finally be moving in the right direction

    xx

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 847 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Hi @diddydi68

    Lovely to hear from you.

    No, it's not silly actually. Yes it is still scary, but I looked forward to my mastectomy, because I knew the surgery would be physically removing the cancer from my body. I couldn't wait to get started. I was nervous of course about the procedure, that's natural, but I was very glad to be getting rid of the cancer.

    I am really glad things are moving forward for you, try and keep clear of colds etc this week so the operation can go ahead as planned.

    Will be thinking of you, let us know how you are doing.

    🤗🤗

    Lou x

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 704 ✭✭✭✭

    @diddydi68

    No, of course it isn't silly. You have had a lot to cope with in a very short time frame and I think you have shown real courage and determination to get where you are today.

    I am delighted to hear that your daughter is receiving counselling and showing some progress already. I was diagnosed with depression a year ago and received counselling. Progress was fairly slow but I moved forward a bit every week and I am now in a very good place.

    All the best to both of you.

    Rob x

  • FlowerGirl23FlowerGirl23 Posts: 12

    Hello diddydi68 .......😁

    Good to hear that things are moving along now. I expect you are very worried about this ❤ but don't be it's not as bad as it sounds .....really it's not 🙂 Have you to have injections to trace your lymph node passage? If you do it's quite painful but not unbearable and once it's done - it's done! Each step is a step closer to the time when you can say "I HAD breast cancer" instead of "I HAVE" 🙂

    Please message me if you want to know anything about the surgery and I will share my experience with you.

    Hope your daughter is feeling a little better? Tis a very difficult time for you all but it will pass honestly it will.

    Thinking of you 🥀🌹🌺🌻🌼🌹🌸

  • AndyAndy Posts: 10

    Hi, sorry for being away.

    Chemo wasn't that scary and the nurses were amazing.

    After two days I began to feel really poorly and had lots of side effects kicking in really hard.

    I'm starting to feel ready now and getting stronger and prepared for my next one on the 23.

    Im all prepared with medication now for the side effects.

    Starting to feel more positive and thinking in the future. I'm going to beat this.

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 361 mod

    Hi @Andy

    Please no apologies necessary! We understand what it is like to go through chemo!

    Yes, it is usually after the chemo has been administered, the days following that the effect of it begins to surface. I am sorry it was a rough time for you, but glad you are more ready for the next one and have meds lined up waiting! I think the not knowing of what will happen to you is often the hardest prior to the first chemo. Now you have some idea of what to expect possibly, you can brace yourself, get in position to take it on. Hopefully this week you will continue on an upward trend towards the 23rd.

    So glad you are beginning to feel more positive and hopeful. Seeing yourself in the future doing things post cancer is a good thing. You can do it, we are here to support you too.

    I hope you have a restful weekend,

    Chat soon,

    Lou xx

  • FlowerGirl23FlowerGirl23 Posts: 12

    Best of luck @Andy will be thinking of you on the day 23rd ........ hope you are feeling positive - it WILL be worth the discomfort the outcome WILL be positive.

    Stay strong 😊

    Flower Girl 🥀🌹🌼🌺

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