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Encouraging thoughts...

SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭✭✭

I saw this today and thought I'd share it here too. Some say using words such as 'brave' 'courageous' when talking about going through cancer isn't right or justified. Personally I don't agree with that thought. (Please don't shout at me!! 😄).

I believe anyone, whether it us us or a loved one, going through cancer and any necessary treatments requires enormous strength, courage and fortitude. It is not easy or a walk in the park for anyone. We can all only do the best we can each day, every day. Maybe this will encourage you today..x

Lou x


  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,197 mod


    Hi Lou

    I think it was very brave of you to post that. 😂🤣 x

    Seriously, it is a lovely message and when I read through the selfless, caring and supportive posts from our community members I know that you are right.

    Rob x

  • betsy_9betsy_9 Posts: 23 ✭✭


    Hi Lou,

    I just love this message and the idea of sharing positive thoughts! It feels good to read a couple of encouraging words after a long day. Thank you.

    Here's my absolute favourite, from Winnie-the-Pooh (don't judge me, haha😁).

    In fact, I used to set it as a reminder on my phone and it just popped up on my screen from time to time - it always made me feel so much better!!

    Hope you have a lovely evening,


  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi Blanka,

    Hahaha😊, no judging from me here over Winnie the Pooh and friends, I love them all! Still! At '##coughing##*!!' age! 😊. He is a very wise bear indeed..haha.

    Have a peaceful evening,

    Lou x

  • BrightstarBrightstar Posts: 259 ✭✭✭

    @Sunshinedaff @RobertA @kar399

    Hi Lou. Just picked up on your words of encouragement, which I loved.

    I was obviously meant to see that tonight, as I had bad news from my consultant today.

    My histology results had come back from my lumpectomy that I had 2 weeks ago. Not the result I was hoping for, as I now have to have a mastectomy.

    There was me expecting him to say, I would have to have a course of radiotherapy, so it was hell of a shock to hear that news. 😱 It has certainly been a roller-coaster since going for my 3 yearly mammogram!

    Nothing will be happening until after Christmas now. The consultant said there is a lot to organise, as I have chosen to have a reconstruction as well.

    My next step is to see the breast cancer nurse, to decide my options on the type of reconstruction and what to expect. Because I'm so large breasted, it means that my other breast will have to be reduced to match the new one.

    I have always wished for smaller boobs! What is it they say? Be careful what you wish for! Life is ironic at times!

    Hi Kar. Hope you are still finding the radiotherapy bearable. Only one more week left 😊 I have been thinking of you.

    Hi Rob. Hope all is well with you and you are keeping out of mischief 😊

    Was going to start on my decorations this week, but never got round to it. Will definitely be starting them at the weekend now.

    I am going to buy 3 new pieces for my tree with you lovely people in mind, and will be thinking of you all when I am putting them on the tree.

    One of my friends has been buying me a decoration for my tree for the last 10 years. Each one brings a smile to my face when I come to put them on.

    Some of my decorations are over 20 years old. Admittedly I have had to respray them, but they hold such precious memories.

    Thought I would share with you all a word of encouragement that a nurse I worked with many years ago said to me, when I was going through a difficult time:-

    Fear knocked on the door. Faith answered it, and fear was gone!

    I never forgot that and it seems very appropriate right this moment! We all need faith in our lives. 🙏

    Peace be with each one of you.

    Love J xx

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi J,

    I am so glad you found these words helpful for you and timely, I am really sorry to hear your news, I can imagine how much of a shock it is to find out you need a mastectomy as well. It is a lot to get your head around, the breast care tram will explain it all in great detail to you and the various reconstruction options.

    When I had my mastectomy, I was able to make my decision about reconstruction at a later date, after radiotherapy. In the end I decided not to have it done, but like you I used to have large boobs. I had a reduction on the remaining side. I was more excited about that than anything else! Finally, small boobs!

    I think it is an excellent idea to put the tree up early, definitely why not! I look forward to seeing pics of your tree this year, and how lovely to put some new decorations up with us in mind. Very special. I was going to ask my husband to get the decs down from the loft this weekend, but I am not sure I have space for them yet with all the garage sorting still going on..lol! I also think it is great you have some old ones, me too!

    I love your encouraging words too, and very true. Good words to hold onto.

    I hope you have some peace this weekend,


    Lou xx

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,197 mod
    edited November 2019

    @Brightstar @Sunshinedaff

    Good evening J

    I am so sorry to hear your news, it must have come as a real shock and with your Mum’s memorial today too, it is the last thing you needed to hear.

    I feel really honoured to be recognised with one of the pieces on your tree. It is a joy to chat with you and all the other courageous people who belong to our lovely group.

    It is a great idea to get started with your decorations at the weekend and to revive those precious memories. I wonder if Alfie will challenge Pingo again - he must be quite a tough guy because I guess Pingo is much taller. Perhaps you can record the deed and present him with the evidence.🤣🤣.

    Thinking of you right now J.

    Rob 🤗x

  • kar399kar399 Posts: 19

    Hi Brightstar,

    I am so sorry to hear your news, it must have been a big shock. Try not to think too far ahead, perhaps take it in stages, ie - focus now on your meeting with the breast care nurse first and what information you want to get from that.

    I hope you don't think I am being rude or insensitive, I am just trying to think what I would do.

    I agree that putting your tree up is a lovely thing to plan and I love your idea with the special decorations, thank you. I will do the same.

    I am ok so far and yes it is just the one week left.

    Please keep me up to date with how you are and I will be thinking of you every step of the way xxx

  • BrightstarBrightstar Posts: 259 ✭✭✭

    @Sunshinedaff @RobertA @kar399

    Hi there. Ha ha to Alfie being tough. He is a right wuss. He only attacks it@Sunshine53 because he can't fight back. My husband bought me a new penguin last weekend and it has now gone back, as Alfie was terrified of it. He took one look at it, banged his back legs and ran behind the sofa. He was so stressed out over it, that I had no choice but to take it back.

    It was cute but Alfie obviously thought he would not be able to take that one on! 😂 Plus Pingo might have got jealous anyway! 😊

    Not much luck with decorations today, as I run out of time to go where I needed to get them from.

    I think I might have difficulty finding one in a shape of a wine bottle to represent you Rob! 😂

    I'm hoping to find something with a Christmas pudding on for you Lou, as you do all this lovely baking.

    I will get some angel wings for you Kar, as I hope the angels will guard you, now your treatment is nearly over.

    I went to a craft fair today at a local priory. It was really lovely. Some lovely hand made cards, pictures, etc. The church choir was singing beautiful carols, which brought a lump to my throat. I was praying please don't sing silent night, as that one gets to me everytime. Luckily they didn't, as I feel that I would not have been able to stop crying once I started.

    There was suppose to be a Christmas Market as well, but there was only about 6 stalls. Perhaps the weather had put people off. Luckily the priory had made up for it.

    Went and had lunch in a local pub afterwards. Had good old fish, chips and peas. You can't beat it. 😋

    Thank you all for your recent support. Very bad day yesterday but fine again today.

    Love to you all. J x

  • kar399kar399 Posts: 19

    Hi Brightstar,

    Your are so kind to think of us when you have so much stress yourself at this time.

    Just wanted to tell you though that I was in Asda the other day and they have all sorts of different tree decorations including a champagne bottle, a martini glass and I think a baking mixer !! Mind you they also had octopus, sprouts and all kind of other strange ones !!

    Just so you know - my name is Jayne and I live in Cardiff. Please don't forget to look after yourself too, things seem worse at this time of the year but hopefully 2020 will be kinder to all of us xx

  • BrightstarBrightstar Posts: 259 ✭✭✭


    Hi Jayne. Thanks for letting me know about the champagne bottle. That will do nicely for representing Robert, as I am sure he much prefers champagne to wine! 😂

    Cardiff is a place I would like to go to for a weekend. I have been told its really lovely.

    I spent a lot of my 6 weeks holidays as a child, in North Wales. Most of my Aunty's lived there. Some in Anglesey and some in Llandudno. I have such happy memories.

    One of my aunty's ran a small hotel and I loved the atmosphere and meeting all the different guests. In fact it's something I would have liked to have done myself.

    I really want to do the Mumbles as well. My mother in law comes from The Rhonda Valleys, so Wales has featured in my life one way or another from a very young age.

    Yes let's hope 2020 is a better year. I was hoping to have all this behind me before the new year, but that wasn't meant to be.

    It's funny but health wise I have never felt better and everyone keeps telling me how well I look. If I had not gone for my mammogram, I still would have been non the wiser, as I had no symptoms whatsoever. I know it was the same for you.

    My biggest fear is that I now end up having to go through chemo as well. I think like you suggested, I have to just concentrate on each step at a time and draw strength from all the couragous people on this site.

    Take care and chat soon.

    Love J x

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,197 mod

    @Brightstar @Sunshinedaff @kar399

    Good afternoon dear friends

    Hi J

    I was thinking of you again today as Mary and I went to a craft fair at Jersey Hospice and there were some really beautiful handmade cards and Christmas Tree baubles. We spent rather a lot, but we got some lovely things and the fund raising efforts seemed to be going well too. Haha, yes, I can handle a glass of bubbly and I am looking forward to celebrating lots of good news with yourself and all of our group during 2020.

    Hi Jayne

    It is always lovely to hear from you and good to know that your treatment is coming to an end soon. 😀

    Hi Lou

    Oh, you poor thing, still sorting out the garage. You must be fed up with it. Perhaps you should put your car in it next time. 😉

    Well, we’ve had visitors for the past few days and I am bushed. Nothing a nice shiraz won’t put right. Cheers to you all 🍷

    Rob x

  • BrightstarBrightstar Posts: 259 ✭✭✭

    @RobertA @Sunshinedaff @kar399

    Hi All.

    Robert it sounds like you had a lovely day. I love that type of thing. You can't beat handmade items.

    I bought some lovely handmade cards yesterday too and a lovely handmade coffee cake. It wasn't one of yours was it Lou? 😂 It was delicious 😋 Wasn't really any tree decorations though! 🤔

    Been busy wrapping up Christmas presents today, ready to go under my tree.

    I was hoping to start that today, but my husband John hasn't had time to get everything out of the garage. It takes a couple of hours to put the tree together, as it is 6ft and has to be assembled branch by branch. John always does that though and Alfie has a great time trying to help him! 😂 He is going to do it all Tuesday now,(John not Alfie) 🤣 as he is off then.

    I only have 2 more presents to buy now and that is me done. Just the food next! @Sunshine53Got all the drink a while ago. That was the most important bit! 😂 😂 😂

    You can't beat a nice shiraz, but I also like a good rioja! 🍷🍷🍷Don't mind white wine, but it has to be sparkling.

    Off to another Christmas Market, with another friend tomorrow and no doubt we will grab a bite to eat as well.

    Off to Winchester Christmas Market on Wednesday. As you can see there is a bit of a theme going on here!😊 I love going to as many different ones as I can. Bath is my favourite one though. That's not started yet, but hope to go there as well.

    I do love all the different foods you can get on the stalls, but I usually find there is no where to sit, and I don't like eating while walking around.

    I think I might just pour myself a little something now. I have got lamb shanks for dinner and Its calling for some wine to go with it 😂

    So cheers 🍷to you all.

    Love J🤗🤗🤗😘

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @RobertA @Brightstar @kar399 @MaryHall64

    Good evening lovely friends,

    How lovely to hear all of your weekend news, it sounds as though you have had joyful and successful times with friends and family. Lovely to hear.

    Rob, you and Mary are such lovely hosts to your guests, I am sure they all always have a blast with the two of you, as well as you enjoying cake and wine in multiple sittings!! Haha!😁

    J, no it wasn't one of my cakes..lol! We are also going to Winchester Christmas market, we love it there, we went last year when Hannah was at uni. The stalls in the cathedral display are really lovely. They have a great mulled wine stall, it was so tasty, and a spiced rum one too! Chocolate covered marshmallows on sticks all different flavours, even I liked those, and I am not usually a fan of that sort of thing.

    I agree, if it's white, make it sparkle!! lol😂, although I did bring back from France this year some wonderful still white wine from Buzet. Fabulous it is!

    We haven't been down to Bournemouth yet to see this years winter wonderland light fantastic display, think we will do that in a week or so. I would love to visit Exeter and see their Christmas displays, Mary says they are great. Like you J, I love to visit them, just a big kid at heart!!😁

    This afternoon we went down to Castlepoint again, got a little more shopping done, and a certain store had 20% off this weekend which helped!

    Our dinner cooking too, although not as grand as yours J, lamb shanks, I'll be right round! (Sausages for us!)

    Wrapping already! Impressive! I love wrapping presents, but it takes me ages as I can never make my mind up which paper to use for which person, I think I may overthink it just a tad!!😂

    Decs are out of the loft, I made the clever(!) mistake of numbering them last year, mmmm...I forgot how many there were...only in the teens!! Mark loves it he does, hahahaha 😂.

    Jayne, it is great to hear you are doing ok with the treatment, and you don't have too long left of this bit. I hope you continue to do well. I expect Cardiff will be looking lovely at Christmas too.

    Thinking of you all,


    Lou xx

  • BrightstarBrightstar Posts: 259 ✭✭✭

    @Sunshinedaff @RobertA @kar399

    I hadn't thought of Exeter Christmas Market, I will have to add that one to my list. 😊

    I go to Winchester one every year. Although it's not a very big one, it does have a beautiful atmosphere. I think the cathedral makes it.

    I went to Salisbury 2 years ago and really loved that one. I gave it a miss last year because of the Novichok poisoning. I intend to go there this year.

    It takes me a while to wrap my presents, as I like to add twigs etc for decorations. Luckily I don't have too many to wrap.

    I don't number my boxes. I label each one with a description of what is in each one. They then get put in my garage in order that they go on my tree. So the first box is the top of the tree etc etc.

    Below is a picture of my napkins I did last year. Simple but effective I think.

    https://us.v-cdn.net/6030992/uploads/231/IJ5HJWYEHG39.jpg There was an error displaying this embed.

    This is my wreath I did last year as well.

    I love doing all this sort of thing. I do get a bit carried away though with my siver, gold and snow spray.

    Love and kisses J x

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,197 mod

    @Sunshinedaff @Brightstar

    Hi Lou and J

    Haha, you two are really getting into the Christmas spirit. We don't have all of your Christmas Market or shopping options in our little island sadly, so we have to rely on Amazon quite a lot.

    I'd love to see John and Alfie setting up the Christmas tree J. The napkins look fabulous and so does the wreath. by the way, I love Rioja too. We go to Spain quite often and I love their language, wine, music, dancing and lifestyle. Hope you have enjoyed your day out today.

    Oh Lou, you have got me singing 'Winchester Cathedral' but if you check the words, they are rather sad so I will look for a different one. Your Christmases sound amazing too and I can only imagine what your Christmas Day table will look like.

    It was a real joy to see my brother in law and his partner. We used to go home to family in Cheshire for Christmas, but flight delays, strikes and bad weather always seemed determined to spoil it so we are staying in Jersey and spending Christmas Day with friends.

    Haha, enjoy getting carried away, both of you.

    Rob xxx

  • BrightstarBrightstar Posts: 259 ✭✭✭

    @RobertA @Sunshinedaff

    I will try and remember to take a picture when John and Alfie are putting the tree together. 😊🎄Alfie likes to wind John up by sitting on the branches he wants to get to! 😂

    I love Spain as well. Mijis is one of my favourite places but I love Puerto Banus as well.

    Possittano in Italy is my all time favourite though. Nothing beats the Amalfi Coast in my opinion.

    Such a shame that people's Christmases are spoilt because of strikes and delays. I'm sure Rob that you will still have a lovely Christmas day with your friends and it will be a lot stress free.

    Love and hugs J x

  • kar399kar399 Posts: 19

    I agree that the Amalfi coast is stunning. I went there 3 years ago on a day trip from where we had hired a villa with family. I must admit though that the coach journey to get there was awful. It was literally packed with people standing in the aisle and boiling hot with no air con !! Add on the windy roads and I couldn't wait to get off !! However, it was worth it when we arrived.

    The last 2 years we have been to the Greek islands and love them so not sure what my all time favourite place is. I have noticed since the demise of Thomas Cook that 2020 holidays do seem to have leapt up in price.

    I am planning on putting up our decorations this coming weekend. I like to really deep clean the rooms beforehand though so have a little bit still to do before then.

    I hope everyone is ok today.

    Take care everyone

    Jayne xx

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Good morning everyone,

    I just wanted to share this little quote that I came across yesterday. For me it was a very timely reminder and I could really envisage the tide turning and then apply it to our own situation.

    'The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide' -quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

    Circumstances can have us running round in circles, every which way and running us ragged..can't they?! I know that is how I feel sometimes. But what I hold onto is this, circumstances are temporary, meaning they are subject to change! I am believing in them changing for the better. Looking forward to the tide turning!

    Have a blessed, good day, everyone,

    Lou x

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Brightstar @RobertA @kar399

    I have never been to Spain or Italy! Mark is keen for us to try Spain one year, he loves it, and we would both love to visit Italy sometime. Italy had been our honeymoon destination until the travel agent lady told us it was out of our budget range! lol!😂, maybe one day!

    Jayne, I am the same as you, have to clean the house thoroughly before putting the decorations up, this year I have a little elf helper to assist me in that job, and it gives her something to do. Apparently it was a year ago today I put last years tree up according to FB, I need to get going then!

    I posted a couple of pics on the Christmas chat of Wimborne's lights this year, very pretty.

    Rob, I am so glad you had a great weekend with your brother-in-law, and at least you didn't get the worst of the current weather!

    J I love your wreath and decoration, you must spend hours each year coming up with new ways of presenting things!

    Hope you all have a good day,

    Lou x

  • BrightstarBrightstar Posts: 259 ✭✭✭

    @RobertA @Sunshinedaff @kar399

    Hi All. Here are the 3 decorations I bought to remind me of you all.

    Robert yours is the wine glass 😂😂

    Lou I could not find a nice food connected one, so I saw the tree and I know how much you like christmas, so I picked that one for you.

    Jayne the angel wings to guide you through the new year now your treatment is coming to an end.

    I had to put them on an hanger, so you could see them to their advantage.

    John and I are just off out. Some friends of ours have invited us out for a meal.

    Love to you all. J xx

  • kar399kar399 Posts: 19

    Oh wow they are beautiful.

    Thank you so much for thinking of us and sending your good wishes. I am touched.

    Enjoy your meal,

    Jayne xx

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭✭✭


    Hi J,

    They are beautiful! How lovely of you to think of us, and I think it is fabulous you are incorporating us on your tree! I love them!!

    We drove through your way today on the way to Canford cliffs for an appointment. We passed by Branksome beach, the waves looked spectacular. Unfortunately we had to return home quickly, but hopefully next time we shall stop at the cafe.

    Have a lovely evening with your friends, enjoy the meal. Spag bol for us tonight!

    Lou xx

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,197 mod

    @Brightstar @Sunshinedaff @kar399

    Good morning all.

    Wow, you have all been busy posting. I was a bit quiet yesterday (some might appreciate that) as I had another dental appointment. I have a discoloured tooth from a cricket accident years ago and it is getting blacker so I have decided to get it sorted. It is more complex than I thought as the dentist wants to file the two front ones down so that I look less rabbit like. Sorry Alfie🐇

    Oh J, those decorations are beautiful and I am deeply touched.

    Mary and I used to spend a couple of months in Estepona during January and February as you can get good rental deals at that time of the year. It is not far from Puerto Banus where Mary likes to look in the shops and I look at the Ferraris. Just looking😛 We are hoping we can start doing it again next year. We have never been to Italy, but I have seen pictures of the Amalfi coast and it looks stunning-just the place to drive that Ferrari rather than that coach Jane.

    Thank you for that Longfellow quote Lou. It is a timely reminder of what has brought us all together and it is special to me to be able to share the journey with so many lovely people.

    Love to you all

    Rob xxx

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