Why it's ok if we cannot do what others can do during or post treatment

KarinSiegerKarinSieger Posts: 64 Cancer Counselling Specialist

Cancer good news stories must not sugarcoat the truth - cancer and treatment affect us all in different ways.

Hi,

You may know the feeling, when you hear in the news about the achievements of others with cancer or post treatment, and you may wonder why they can and you can't? Cancer good news stories play a role, but can also cause unrealistic expectations and make some feel like failures or even more upset about abilities and possibilities we may have lost.

My latest article talks about all that:

7 things you need to remember when writing or hearing about cancer good news stories.

You can read it hear.

I hope you find it of use.

What do you think?

Very best.

Karin


Karin Sieger
Psychotherapist | Writer | Podcaster | MA, BA (Hons) | Reg. MBACP (Accred)
Helping you create new possibilities!

Comments

  • JerseyBobJerseyBob Posts: 48 mod

    @KarinSieger

    Hi Karin

    I have just read your article ‘7 things to remember’. Sorry to be so slow getting there, it was most interesting and I nodded and smiled to myself at several of the points you made.

    I have an aggressive and inoperable prostate cancer which has spread into the surrounding tissues. The hormone treatments I receive delay the spread of the cancer but they have uncomfortable and irreversible side effects. These include loss of energy, stamina, muscle and strength - weight gain and metabolic and cognitive issues. I do walk as much as I can, but engaging in active sports is not realistic. Even a bit of hoovering knocks me out after 20 minutes or so. My wife is very understanding.😉

    People say ‘You are very brave’. Well, no. I did not enter a burning building to save a life, or swim the Channel, I got cancer and have no choice but to live with it and cope. My way is by playing my piano and writing and reading posts in this community.

    ‘You can beat this’. Well, again, not really. I can just take my treatments and hope for the best.

    People often tell me they know someone who has been living with prostate cancer for 20 years and is still going strong. This can be the case, but certainly not for me and the inference that somehow prostate cancer is not so bad, though not intended, is unwelcome. There are NO good cancers and not all prostate cancers ( or any other form of cancer) are the same.

    As you say, everyone has their own way. Thank you for posting tge article. I hope others will read it.

    Rob x

  • KarinSiegerKarinSieger Posts: 64 Cancer Counselling Specialist

    @JerseyBob

    Hi Rob,

    What a great post!

    Thank you so much for sharing your own cancer reality with us all!

    And that is really what matters - our OWN reality.

    We can only do the best we can, and that means different things to different people. There is no competition, and we must not compare ourselves to others and should not be compared or judged by others. Alas, it's not always as straight forward as that.

    I don't know about you, but speaking out and writing down what we feel and believe in - just the way you have done - that can help give clarity and strength.

    I salute you and thanks for saying what no doubt many here agree with.

    This reminds me of a podcast episode I did for my series Cancer and You where 4 people affected by cancer share their cancer lessons. You can listen to it here

    With very best wishes.

    Karin


    Karin Sieger
    Psychotherapist | Writer | Podcaster | MA, BA (Hons) | Reg. MBACP (Accred)
    Helping you create new possibilities!
  • JerseyBobJerseyBob Posts: 48 mod
    edited October 17

    @KarinSieger

    Hi Karin and thanks for your kind comments.

    I have listened to episode 1 of ‘Cancer and You’ and found the observations of Bruce, Sarah and Rod who talked about their cancer lessons very interesting. They all made points which struck a chord with me and it was good to know that my own thoughts are so ‘normal’.

    Being diagnosed with cancer inspired Bruce to learn everything he could about his cancer and not necessarily to believe everything you read. He even changed his career in a desire to gain expertise and help others.

    Sarah realised that she was rushing around and not living life to its fullest and best.

    Rod opened himself up to the World via twitter and other online sites and he benefits through exchanging information with others who also benefit through chatting with him,

    Well, their observations show that there can be SOME good which comes from having cancer if you have the right support and encouragement.

    The message from Sarah was brilliant because I also realised that I/we were not living life to the full and the knowledge that it might be shorter than we expected changed all that. My marriage is stronger than ever and we have treats and trips on a regular basis.

    When I was first diagnosed, we did not tell people about my cancer and it caused problems and misunderstandings and we told a few lies to cover our tracks. It was a mistake and I decided to ‘Come Out’ which was a great relief. In addition to Counselling provided by MacMillan Cancer Support, I found LBWC and I was fascinated to read stories from people openly talking about their fears, depression, good days bad days, families etc. and joined. I think that it is really great to talk with people who ‘understand’ and listen without judging in a way that people who have not experienced cancer cannot. I have made good friends through the community and I have been helped and have hopefully helped others through the cancer journey.

    Haha, think I might be rambling a bit now so will sign off.

    Thank you for all the information, support and encouragement you give us. It is invaluable.

    Rob x

  • KarinSiegerKarinSieger Posts: 64 Cancer Counselling Specialist

    @JerseyBob

    Hi Rob,

    I am glad you found listening to this podcast episode of use. And thanks for once again for so eloquently sharing your own experiences and views - not rambling at all .

    Would you be happy for me to share your feedback with Bruce, Rod and Sara? I would take a screen grab without showing your screen name.

    Let me know.

    Very best for you.

    Karin

    Karin Sieger
    Psychotherapist | Writer | Podcaster | MA, BA (Hons) | Reg. MBACP (Accred)
    Helping you create new possibilities!
  • JerseyBobJerseyBob Posts: 48 mod

    @KarinSieger

    Hi Karin

    Yes, it would be great to let them know how valuable their podcasts are. I will be listening to episode 2 soon.

    I am perfectly happy for you to show my screen name if you wish. I love this community and anything which might help to let people know we are here is good.

    Best wishes

    Rob

  • KarinSiegerKarinSieger Posts: 64 Cancer Counselling Specialist
    Karin Sieger
    Psychotherapist | Writer | Podcaster | MA, BA (Hons) | Reg. MBACP (Accred)
    Helping you create new possibilities!
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