Struggling emotionally

KitKatKitKat Posts: 50 ✭✭✭
Got my breast cancer diagnosis two weeks ago and really struggling to come to terms with it
Can't seem to stop crying and all I want to do is sleep. I work full time and being at work seems to keep me focused.
I feel that all my future retirement plans have been shattered.
I'm trying to be positive and not selfish.
I'm thinking that  because it's my 4th cancer (all different) I don't know if I can go through this again.
I'm even sobbing as I type this.
Is this normal and will it pass?
Don't want to go to doctor for tablets.
Thanks for reading.

Comments

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 829 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hi @KitKat

    Of course it is normal, and definitely not selfish. You have been through so much already and it must have been devastating to hear that you have cancer again. 

    As you know, Lou @Sunshinedaff has had breast cancer and she is a great source of information and support.  
    Many of us have a different cancer, but we have been there and we are all here to support, chat and encourage one other and you can say whatever is on your mind and we will understand. 

    When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I coped pretty well, but after six months or so, I fell into depression. I was angry and tearful and even asked to be taken off the treatment which was keeping my cancer under control. I had great support from my doctor who prescribed me Sertraline, which I still take. It is not a ‘Happy pill’ or a quick fix, but it increases the natural serotonin in your brain and I found it so helpful. I also found MacMillan Cancer Support who gave me a counsellor free of charge. She helped me to find a way through and I am still making plans for the future. I really believe that there are two aspects to cancer. The disease itself and the emotional upheaval. 
    I am sure you can get through this and revive your retirement plans. You have done it before. 

    Karin Sieger is a Cancer Counselling specialist who has been through breast cancer twice. She has joined our group and I have attached the link below. Why don’t you drop her a line.

    Rob x 

    https://community.livebetterwith.com/cancer/profile/KarinSieger

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 964 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hi @KitKat

    I am truly sorry for the anguish and struggles you are going through, as Rob has said, you are not being selfish at all. It is completely understandable feeling the way you do. The thought of having to go through all the treatments and all that involves is terrible, even more so as this isn't the first time you have endured cancer. 
    I can fully understand the uncontrollable sobbing, it catches you unawares and then it's a torrent. I think if you are able, working is helpful as it can help to distract the mind for a while. But please don't think all your retirement plans are shattered, it isn't a done deal. Try and see it as 'put on hold, temporarily', I don't say this lightly, I know how hard and difficult it is to think of the future when diagnosed with cancer. To have endured previous cancers and come through each of them successfully, you have a strength within you that is determined to see it through. At the moment you may not feel that, but it is true. 
    So, you may have a long, difficult path to walk now, take it one step at a time, deal with today, there is a lot to go through, but not all of it at once. You are so not on your own in this, honestly, there are so many people here to support you, chat with, cry and even laugh with. I think once you have a plan of action from the medical team, you hopefully will be able to see the way forward in this, which although daunting may weirdly reduce the stress and anxiety. Also, contacting the Macmillan Cancer Support group may be of great help to you, as they can provide on the ground support. When you see your Dr's mention how you feel, they will listen to you, and not automatically precribe meds, it is important they know how you are feeling though. 
    Please feel free to come and chat at any time, if you have any questions about the treatment or surgery etc that you may be needing, or even if you just want to chat. You can also message me or chat here, wherever you feel like. 

    Thinking of you, chat soon, 

    Lou x


  • KitKatKitKat Posts: 50 ✭✭✭
    Thank you both for your lovely replies.
    I haven't cried for the last two days and woke up feeling very positive to day.
    I do go to meditation classes each week and so starting to do more at home.
    Am also doing more mindfulness and decided that I will take it one day at a time and give myself a treat every day.
    Yesterday it was coffee with a friend and today I sat and read my book for an hour.
    Little steps 😀
    Many thanks again for taking the time to respond.
  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 964 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @KitKat

    Hi, 
    That is so good to hear, you are right, it is small steps. They build up to great distances. 
    Treating yourself each day is a brilliant idea....one I think we all could adopt really. 😀.
    So glad you enjoyed coffe out with your friend, that is one of my favourite things to do. 
    Mindfulness is really helpful, and can strengthen you to stay in a positive mindset. Again, small steps, and day by day. 
    Thinking of you,

    Lou x
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