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I have cancer. My husband wants to help but does not know how.

August16August16 Posts: 10
edited May 2020 in Carers Corner
What are some of the things that I can ask my husband to do to help me through the next 6 months of treatment?  He wants to help, but I feel that him ‘just being there’ is enough.


  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hi, there are so many things he can do, some of which you may feel like you can do better, quicker, easier etc. I've been on both sides of this, supporting someone going through it and going through it myself. 
    Practical things in the home always accept, whether it is laundry, housework or making meals, or anything else. You will need to rest through this. 
    Our loved ones are desperate to help us, sometimes it is hard to accept the help because we are so capable. 
    Going with you to appts if possible, taking notes! I know my brain was all over the place. 
    Changing dressings after surgery, yukky thought, but it was necessary; administering neutrophil, injections, I was too scared to do it to myself. 
    Hope some of this helps, wishing you well through your treatment.
  • hessomhessom Posts: 110 ✭✭✭
    Hi @August16, welcome!

    I think @Sunshinedaff has some great suggestions. One of the things I've heard from many ex-patients is how their husbands liked to feel like they were doing something active to help, even if it was doing something like putting together furniture which had nothing to do with their treatment! Maybe you could try giving him a short list of things to do to help you day by day?
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