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A change in attitude

hessomhessom Posts: 110 ✭✭✭
Did your attitudes change after getting a cancer diagnosis or experiencing other health issues? Which part of your life did you experience the most changes in?

Comments

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hi @Hessom
    Definitely! More so when I was diagnosed with cancer than when my family were (sister, dad and mum). When each of them were diagnosed, especially with my sister as we were very close, I felt helpless to help her. When the terminal verdict came it was devastating. She was in the U.S, I was here, many hours in the night we'd be on the phone, talking of finding ways to beat this thing. She was a fighter, and never gave in, her attitude was 'to h*** with cancer, I'm living my life', and always she would say even to the end 'it aint over til the fat lady sings'. My mum was a worrier and would worry about not worrying! So infuriating, my sister and I would say why? It doesn't change a single thing for the better. So when it was my turn (think cancer had a mind to obliterate my family one by one!), I was the same as my sister, absolutely refused to allow cancer to define me. My attitude was 'how dare it even rear its ugly head'.The difference between my sister and I was she was a rule breaker and I was a rule follower. But not anymore. I know I have spent too many hours of my life being careful, 'not colouring outside of the lines', saying yes when I should say no (the main problem), and stressing about tomorrow. Now I am living every day, I am not climbing Everest, but I am enjoying life the best that I can. You don't know what tomorrow may bring, I know some would say you should prepare for tomorrow, but I think it's more important to live each day. Sorry for the ramble!
  • cosiecosie Posts: 31 ✭✭
    edited November 2018
    @Sunshinedaff I really liked reading your post. Thanks for writing it. I think that when things happen that shake everything up, it does make you act or think differently. I like the phrase about previously not 'colouring outside of the lines'!
  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,273 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think that we cancer survivors become especially aware of our limited time on earth. Mortality is suddenly in your face. The cancer experience completely changed my perception of time and I realised that I was getting impatient and frustrated at spending it doing things I felt were meaningless or unimportant. I wanted to concentrate on what mattered to me and how I wanted to spend my time in future.   I really believe that the cancer experience has changed how I think and made me feel ready for change as I do not want to waste a minute of whatever time I have left.  I recently struck a bollard when reversing my car. A lapse of concentration which I would never have made before cancer as I love my car. My wife wanted to review how and why the incident had happened but I just wanted to forget it and move on. I think that the new me was difficult for my wife to handle at first, because she really wanted to get the old Rob back, but we are working together to making whatever time we have together as much fun as possible. 
  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭✭✭
    cosie said:
    @Sunshinedaff I really liked reading your post. Thanks for writing it. I think that when things happen that shake everything up, it does make you act or think differently. I like the phrase about previously not 'colouring outside of the lines'!
    Thanks @cosie I appreciate that. Hope you have been able to enjoy some of this brighter weather this last weekend, it's definitely much colder today! x
  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭✭✭
    RobertA said:
    I think that we cancer survivors become especially aware of our limited time on earth. Mortality is suddenly in your face. The cancer experience completely changed my perception of time and I realised that I was getting impatient and frustrated at spending it doing things I felt were meaningless or unimportant. I wanted to concentrate on what mattered to me and how I wanted to spend my time in future.   I really believe that the cancer experience has changed how I think and made me feel ready for change as I do not want to waste a minute of whatever time I have left.  I recently struck a bollard when reversing my car. A lapse of concentration which I would never have made before cancer as I love my car. My wife wanted to review how and why the incident had happened but I just wanted to forget it and move on. I think that the new me was difficult for my wife to handle at first, because she really wanted to get the old Rob back, but we are working together to making whatever time we have together as much fun as possible. 
    Hi @RobertA
    I agree with you, days and time really do become very precious. The realisation that we waste so much of it, either by doing things or thinking things that are really insignificant or meaningless. What we have been through changes our perspective, hopefully that is for the better. As you say, making the most of the time we have, to enjoy life, to celebrate it as much as possible is the way forward. 
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