Breast cancer

SheffieldSheffield Posts: 6

Hi ,

Im new to the group but also I haven't accessed any of the on line support .

I was diagnosed with primary invasion breast cancer in the middle of March 2019 . I have been reading some posts of woman being diagnosed with cancer and the feeling of this is not happening to me and why me , this thinking did stop me accepting what was happening to me and the changes a head of me and then it hit me i have cancer . The most difficult at moment is going from working 40 hours a week very physically active and a great social life to changing my bedding and feeling like I've run a marathon and having to rest , dancing to baby shark with my 17 month old beautiful grand daughter and having to rest . This is so frustrating and at times i feel very emotional . I am so lucky I have such supportive husband kids family friends and they are such loving caring people but then at times I feel lonely . My husband did say to me the other day I need a hobbie I know this is good advice and coming from the right place but being honest I could of screamed at him and told him were to get off then i felt guilty because this is not usually me .

My treatment plan started so quick chemotherapy first for 21 weeks but may change which this really scares me because I think how mentally will I cope with this . I started 1st chemotherapy on 15th April and recently had my 2nd . I suffered with fatigue and feeling sick really affects my appetite . I have anti sickness tablets they didn't work as well this time and for the first time in my adult life I don't want to loose weight , any suggestions would be so welcoming .

I am going to be having a operation but because of type of tumour I have and what my consultant suspects i have been offered the genetic blood test which I am going ahead with this . This does scare me because then this opens another set of worries and also waiting for results and not having a clear plan , it's so frustrating because of the potential implications for my 2 adult children who I love so dearly . I'm trying not to create more worries in my head but so difficult .

I want to say thankyou to any one who reads this and would really appreciate any advice

Comments

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 319 mod

    @Sheffield

    Hi, a very warm welcome to you. I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis, it is a massive shock to be given this news. There is just nothing to compare it too really, even if you had a sneaky suspicion, it is still a huge shock to come to terms with. Your mind and emotions will be all over the place, it is not unusual, the fear of what may lie ahead and of course the unknown beforehand cause so much stress and anxiety.

    It is great that you have a wonderful family around you to support you, but sometimes it is hard to explain your thoughts and feelings to them, especially as often we are mindful of not wanting to cause them more upset. This is where this community can be a real god-send to you. You can come here, chat about anything, on your good days, bad days, and all the other days in between. You can say anything, without feeling like you are treading on egg-shells. We understand what it is like. Plus you will find you are not alone! There are so many others also going through, or having gone through the same as you, even if the cancer is different, the impact of it and the effects of it are very similar in many ways.

    I am a breast cancer survivor, I was diagnosed in 2015, had chemo, a mastectomy and radiotherapy. I am now cancer free. I also had genetic testing done, as breast cancer has ravaged my family, however the BRACS 1/2 came back negative.However I do have two daughters who have been advised to begin screening at a much earlier age, because of the family history, even though the test was negative, doesn't mean there aren't other genes, just not the ones they tested for. All I can do is hope and pray that they will be ok. I can't worry about their future so much that it impacts living now. I am a big believer in not worrying, it doesn't add one iota of anything positive to my life, yet it can bring a lot of negative influences to bear on my life.

    If it is possible, I understand all the implications ahead for you, try and take one day at a time. I really do understand how scary it all is, it is so horrible and changes your life so instantly. Turn the frustrations of the changes cancer has caused around and back onto the cancer. Be positive, determined, and see a future with your family. Plan something ahead, to look forward to, for instance in a years time.

    If the anti-sickness meds aren't working can they give you others? Chemo is very tiring, the fatigue will be cumulative as you progress with the chemo. It is wonderful you are still dancing with your granddaughter, don't stop, even though you need to rest more in between, you're still dancing. It will pass. I used to hoover sitting down, I just couldn't do it standing up moving around. But now I can, not that I want to (not my fave pastime!). My breathing suffered during chemo, I was unable to walk down a corridor without stopping several times, but now I am swimming, lengths and lengths. All of what you are going through is temporary, it will pass.

    If you would like to chat, please don't hesitate, you can also message me, if you'd like.

    Hang in there! Hold on tight!

    Lou x

  • SheffieldSheffield Posts: 6

    Thank you so much for responding and it's so good to talk to some one who does understand what I'm going through . It's so very true the thoughts I have some days I don't want share with family friends because I don't want to worry them .

    I am just getting ready to go out for lunch and as I'm sure you know and remember it takes me around an hour and that's with not having to do my hair lol .

    I will keep in contact

    Sharon x

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 319 mod

    @Sheffield

    Hi Sharon,

    It is my pleasure, you enjoy your lunch out, I love going out to eat, or drink ! (oink!🐷), I hope you can find something really yummy that you can tolerate. It was my hair that used to take the longest, then during chemo, it was what shall I wear? Oh, what fits? mmm? Jogging trousers again then! 😂

    Chat to you soon,

    Lou xx

  • SheffieldSheffield Posts: 6

    Good morning Lou,

    Hope your ok

    I'm going to a wedding in couple of weeks and I haven't made my mind up if I'm going to wear my wig or a hat . I was wondering if you can recommend any websites for head wear .

    Thanks sharon x

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 319 mod

    @Sheffield

    Hi Sharon,

    Ohh lovely, a wedding! So I don't know of any specific places, but have you thought about any of the bamboo type headwear products? There are some lovely designs about, some are very stylish. I know they have some on here, but I think they are available other places, like Amazon, too.

    Sorry I don't have any other suggestions, if you find something let me know. I would love to see a pic. Are you nervous about going to the wedding? Do most of the people going know of your diagnosis?

    I hope you are having a good day. It is very sunny and hot where I am, lovely to be warm.

    Chat soon,

    Lou x

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 574 ✭✭✭✭

    @Sheffield

    Hi Sharon

    I am so pleased that you have already chatted with Lou and I would also like, somewhat belatedly, to welcome you to our friendly group.

    I was interested to hear you say that you sometimes feel lonely. I think that family and friends who have not had cancer can’t realIy ‘get’ how we feel no matter how caring and loving they are. In addition of course, as you have already mentioned, we don't want to worry them more than necessary.

    Enjoy your wedding and you are very welcome to the group.

    Rob x

  • SheffieldSheffield Posts: 6

    Hi Rob ,

    Sorry for late responce . I've just been so busy with appointments and meeting up with friends and work collegues. I really don't know how I've managed before I was diagnosed and chemotherapy how I fit every thing in when I was working fulltime.

    I had my 3rd session of chemo treatment yesterday. I did find yesterday emtionally draining and at one point I didn't want to go , its strange what you think in your own thoughts . I very quickly reminded myself of the positives and how lucky I am even though it doesn't feel that way especially how much my life as changed at this presant in time .

    Yes it is difficult to talk to my beautiful daughter husband family very special friends who I treat as my family are so supportive and would do anything for me . Yes I don't want to worry them of my deepest thoughts .

    When I went see my Doctor on Tuesday . I was waiting to check in at reception a lady started talking to me . I went to sit down and she asked if she could sit with me , this was lovely . We had a few things in common same working profession even though she retired early , similar interests, love of socialising . She has secondary breast cancer . The one thing through out her talking about diagnoses and treatment she was very positive and living her life accourding to advice . She was so inspirational and gave me a lot of food for thought . We exchanged numbers and she texted day after with some info and we are going to meet in 2 weeks for coffee . I'm looking really forward to it .

    Anyway thankyou for the welcome to the group I really appreciate it and doesn't make me feel as alone . I hope you are are keeping well.

    Sharon x

  • RobertARobertA Posts: 574 ✭✭✭✭

    @Sheffield

    Hi Sharon

    it is not a problem. I understand how busy you must be and there is never any obligation to reply.

    I am pleased to hear that you are keeping busy meeting up with friends and work colleagues.

    I haven't experienced chemo but I know from community members how awful and draining it is and I am not surprised that you did not want to go to your 3rd session. It is great to know that you have such lovely family and friends but I fully understand that you don't feel lucky. You have a lot to contend with and it must be really draining physically and mentally. How great that you met that inspirational lady in your doctor’s reception and that you are going to meet up again. I have had amazing support from friends I have met through MacMillan Cancer Support and the lovely people in this Community. As you say, it is so special to know that we are not alone and that we can chat and support one another in our battle against this horrible disease.

    Rob x

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 319 mod

    @Sheffield

    Good Morning Sharon 😊,

    How are you doing today? The first few days after chemo can be really difficult. Are you taking the meds your oncologist gave you, if so, are they working?

    I hope you were able to get some rest last night, although it was very hot here all night, if the same for you, then quite uncomfortable.

    I think it is lovely how you met someone at the dr's and even better you have arranged to meet for coffee. That is so encouraging for you, I am really pleased for you. I remember when I went for my first chemo, there were quite a few people waiting for appointments too, in the reception area they were playing the radio Smooth FM, a song came on, and I just started laughing because it was 'Do you really want to hurt me' by Culture Club. I was just thinking of me having chemo you see, but the lady next to me who was coming in for results said, 'how can you be laughing when you are here?' That started a conversation off, and an elderly gentleman and his wife were sitting there and he joined in too. He was great because he told me he was just finishing chemo and he hadn't been sick at all, he was really positive and up-beat. When people are like that it can change the whole atmosphere of an otherwise depressing situation.

    You have made a new friend hopefully, how cool is that!

    Did you manage to sort any head wear for the wedding?

    I hope you have a good day,

    🤗

    Lou xx

  • SheffieldSheffield Posts: 6

    Morning Lou,

    That's very true the first couple of days are hard . This was my third one and really didn't want to go but reminded my self why I'm going through this , it was bloody hard .

    Yesterday was a hard day mentally and physically slept most of it . I do feel for my husband because he is trying to help in lots of ways around the home but all I wanted was him to go out keep out of my way before I screamed at him lol . I didn't and wouldn't because it must be so emotionally draining for him .

    I do feel a little more alert but as you know that can change very quickly , making sure I rest.

    I haven't felt as sick as I did on 2nd on treatment , so I'm taking the anti sickness originally prescribed.

    I do agree Lou it is so helpful and encouraging to meet people who are in similar situation to me but also I find so inspirational listening how they have gone through chemo and remain positive about current situation . Also your self who has come through and living life to the full 😊😊

    The wedding - I have my out fit but this isn't unusual for me 🤣 I think I may change it , we will see 🤣 . I have ordered 2 bamboo hats of here and also contacted a shop here in Sheffield asking if they sell scalfes and caps unfortunately they don't. The owner who was lovely very help emailed me link of a supplier and i ordered a couple more . I will keep you updated about the outfit lol .

    It's really strange because before starting treatment I bought my wig same style and hair colour said I would wear more than scalfes hat . Thats not the case . I feel that because of the cancer and chemo it feels like is telling me I should wear the wig but it doesn't feel like me any more and actually I feel more me wearing hats and feel comfortable with it . Before my diagnoses I used to look at woman wearing hats for fashion and used to think I wish I had the confidence to wear them and here I am feeling confident wearing them 😊 not sure if this makes sense may change or is this chemo brain 🤣🤣

    Hope you are ok and enjoying the rest of your weekend .😘

    Sharon xx

  • LouiseJLouiseJ Posts: 319 mod

    @Sheffield

    Hi Sharon,

    Sorry I missed your earlier post, I have been on the garden until the rain arrived, now indoors after getting soaked haha😄.

    So after the difficult day yesterday, how are you today? Still in a similar place? I know how hard it is, and yes your lovely husband is probably not sure how to help you, wanting to do something for you so you are not suffering. It's not easy on anyone. But you will get through this. What you are in now is temporary. It was probably good you slept a lot yesterday, it allows the body to rest even if your mind struggles.

    I am looking forward to seeing you in your wedding outfit, not long to go now! I am not surprised about the wig/hat thing. Absolutely makes sense! I didn't have a wig, and prior to cancer I never wore scarves or hats etc, ever. But since cancer, I bought loads of them, wore them a lot, and now I really enjoy wearing them . It could just be the fact that my hair is very short so no danger of having 'hat-hair'! haha😄. I am really glad you are enjoying wearing them, after all this is done with, you will still have that new confidence to wear them when you want, not out of necessity. 😊

    Thinking of you, hang in there 🤗

    Lou xx

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