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Looking after my hubby

DeeboDeebo Posts: 3
edited April 2020 in Carers Corner

Morning I am looking after my hubby and I have been off work I don’t do being off work if that makes sense so this has been very important to me being with him on our journey HR have now started asking when am I returning to work any advice would help thank you.

Best Answer

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,407 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Accepted Answer

    Hi @Deebo

    Welcome to the community, I am very sorry to hear of your husband’s illness.

    I can’t advise you on this other than perhaps contacting Macmillan Cancer Support if you are UK based. They may well be able to help you with regards to work related issues when caring for someone with cancer. I believe they may be able to help you with accessing any financial benefits etc applicable for cancer patients also.

    Or they may be able to direct you to the right place. I am assuming you are either currently taking unpaid leave, compassionate leave or using your holiday entitlement.

    I can understand you wanting to be with your husband as he goes through treatment etc. It must be very hard, the pressure from feeling like you should be working as well can weigh heavily upon you. My husband wasn’t always able to be with me during things, his employers were very good allowing him to take the time when he needed too, but there was the odd occasion that didn’t work out. Thankfully we had some close friends who stepped in to help out.

    There is a page in the Expert Guides ‘ The Live Better With Guide for Cancer Carers’ which may be helpful to you.

    I am sorry I don’t have any definitive answers for you, I know there are several others here who are also caring for loved ones during cancer, hopefully if they have had a similar experience to you, they will respond too.

    Caring for someone you love with cancer is very hard on you too, how are you managing? Do you have any other support ? You are welcome to chat here anytime, there is a lot of support here, everyone is very friendly and understanding.

    I do hope you are able to get the information you need and your employers are compassionate and helpful.

    I hope your husband’s treatment goes well and is successful. Please keep in touch, let us know how you are both doing.



  • RobertARobertA Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Hi @Deebo

    There is nothing I can really add to Lou’s helpful and informative post. I would like to mention though, how incredibly helpful MacMillan Cancer Support were to me and also to my wife at a very difficult time during my cancer treatment. The pressure on the carer is often overlooked and I hope that you have family and friends who are able to support you.

    I would also like to welcome you to our friendly community. We are here for one another and I hope that you will keep in touch.

    Rob x

  • DeeboDeebo Posts: 3

    Hi thanks both off you for getting in touch I thought it was going to be hard but never this hard we feel like two steps forward four back I am struggling with the support as I don’t like saying but I will and I do no a few off us who have not had support from McMillan which has shocked us and wondering why was sent over to see a counsellor but she was more interested in who was coming in through the door and there was no connection between us am I just being rude just being a horrible 🦋 I am so rubbish at writing sorry 😎

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