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MumMum Posts: 2
edited April 2020 in Carers Corner

My son was diagnosed with colon cancer 4 years ago , he had most of his large bowel removed and was well for 4years. Unfortunately it has come back he has a very large tumour in his Rectum/pelvis with Mets on his lung we were all devastated, he was advised that he should have a stoma as the tumour would block his colon and then he would be very ill, his biggest fear was having a stoma but he did have it he then got sepsis after the op which has made him so ill , he lost about 2/3 stones within 3 weeks , he was then told the cancer was also in his stomach lining he is not dealing with things at all hates his life hates the stoma he can't seem to get out of this black hole he is in I understand that he has had a lot to deal with and understandable he is very down , but as a mum I can't bear seeing him like this his fight is gone , he is in so much pain , can't sleep as his rear end is leaking all the time , can't eat as he has a foul taste in his mouth hates that his dignity is gone , I don't know what to do to help him he has been referred to the palliative team which made him go even deeper into himself as he thinks that the doctors can't do anything which is not the case at all but word PALLATIVE has scared him.any advice would be greatly appreciated


  • JerseyBobJerseyBob Posts: 105 ✭✭✭


    I am so sorry to hear of your son’s diagnosis and it really is understandable that he is so down with everything that has been thrown at him.

    Palliative care is often misunderstood. As you know, its purpose is to provide relief from the symptoms and stress of a serious illness such as cancer with a view to improving the patient’s quality of life including pain management, depression and difficulty sleeping. It is often used in conjunction with curative treatment and not as a replacement and I sincerely hope that the team are able to help your son to find some relief.

    I wonder if you have a MacMillan Cancer Support near you. They have real expertise in supporting not only the cancer patient, but the person/ people who are looking after the patient too. The stress and worry placed on the carer can easily be overlooked, but it very important that he/she is also looked out for and able to cope.

    Welcome to our community. I am delighted you have found us. We are here to support and encourage each other and to share each others worries and fears. If you need to chat, or just tell us how you feel, please get in touch and we will listen.

    Rob x

  • MumMum Posts: 2

    Thank you so much Rob , I have phoned my son's Macmillan nurse a week ago and still waiting for a reply, but it is comforting to know that there are people like you who listen and take the time to reply, I feel so alone at times and it's good to know there are others out there in the same position, so thank you Rob xxxxx

  • SunshinedaffSunshinedaff Posts: 1,410 ✭✭✭✭✭



    I am so very sorry to hear about your son's diagnosis and the suffering he is enduring, it is very understandable that he feels the way he does. It is good you have contacted Macmillan's, I hope the nurse will respond very soon. I hope that the palliative care team will also be able to provide some real positive support to your son. It must be so very heartbreaking for you too to see your son suffering in this way and as a parent be helpless to fix it. I can only imagine that pain. Do you have any support too? As Rob has said brilliantly you also need to be supported, it is very tough caring for loved ones.

    You are of course most welcome here, I am glad you found us. Everyone here is very friendly, you will find a lot of support, understanding, friendship and encouragement here. You are not alone, please feel free to come and chat at anytime, whether it is a good day, or a bad day, we support one another.

    Thinking of you, chat soon,

    Lou x

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