Losing my mind
Hello all. I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer on 10th March after a colonoscopy exam. At the beginning of this turbulent journey, I felt my treatment from the NHS was amazing. Within two weeks of the colonoscopy, I had been given an MRI, CT pelvis, and CT virtual colonoscopy, and my prognosis was positive, with the cancer currently stage two. I saw my surgeon on 28th March and he advised that my operation was urgent, as the tumour is blocking my bowel and causing distressing symptoms. I shared my concerns with him as my daughter gets married on 17th May, and he assured me the operation would be done during April, and my recovery would be well on the way by the wedding.
Since that appointment I have now discovered ( from specialist nurse) that no date has been set for my operation, and after contacting my surgeon to discuss, he has advised that I will not be fit to attend the wedding, and that surely my family will just want me well!
Am I being totally unreasonable and irrational to feel so bloody angry about this? I’m so upset that cancer has taken my old life and has replaced it with a life where I have absolutely no control. My surgeon appears to believe that I am merely a tumour, and I’m totally losing my mind. I can’t sleep as I spend most of the night in the toilet, and my symptoms are unbearable.
Has anyone else experienced these awful feelings? I honestly think I’m going mad! I can’t go to work due to the symptoms and I’m trying to keep busy so I don’t overthink things!!