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@Melanie ;

Hi Melanie

It is really upsetting and distressing to face all of this, as Lesley has said you just tell them how you are feeling, and what you are experiencing, the nurses will be monitoring how you are doing. They are very good, they understand how distressing it is. There are meds to help with sickness, mouthwash to help with sore gums and mouth, if you need it. Unfortunately, if hair loss is likely, perhaps a cold cap may help. I didn't have one, I didn't like thought of it. Many of us found that once the hair began to go, it was much easier to shave it off and be done with it. I then bought scarves and hats to wear all the time, even in bed. 

You will find a lot of support and understanding on here. Please keep in touch, let us know how you are doing.

Lou x

@Melanie

Hi Melanie,

Good morning and welcome to the group.

It sounds positive that the cancer was removed through surgery. I hope you have made a good recovery from it. 
 
Your cancer nurses have probably gone through the detailed information regarding chemotherapy and everything associated with it. 
The thought of going through chemo is very scary, as for most of us, all we have heard about it is until we are in this cancer battle, is how terrible it is.
I understand how you feel. I was terrified of having chemo. 
The worst fear for me was the thought of throwing up. I don't do sick! Not even my children's when they were ill! 

But the thing is, although the nurses have to go through all the possible side-effects, doesn't mean you will suffer all of them.
There will be some, depending on the type of chemo they can vary.
Also, everyone's reaction to chemo is different, we are not identical.

I was not sick once! (Take the meds, they really worked for me).
But I did lose my hair, and had some other side-effects. 

Trying to visualise what the chemo will accomplish may help you. Seeing it as a weapon against any stray cells that may be lurking. 

Do you have any specific fears about it? 

Lou x

Carol said:

One mantra that I use when anxiety starts creeping is - ‘focus on what is not what if’ - it’s often the things that we think might/could happen that bother us the most 

This is so true, @Carol ; - I'm definitely using that mantra next time I'm getting in a flap, I love it!

Great tip to get in touch with hospices about counselling and psychological support, one thing I've learned working for LBW is that hospices are about SO much more than just end of life care - their staff are absolute treasure troves of knowledge and support, they can often point you in the direction of little-known local services/groups that can be easier to access than NHS psych support. 

I'm also personally a big fan of Maggie's Centres, if you're lucky enough to live near one - their focus is on the emotional side of living with cancer, and helping family and friends is also a big part of what they do.

Wishing your friend all the best, @jordanperkins

I believe in positivity but I can understand why it's hard to stay positive. I was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer 2 weeks after my dad died. I ha no symptoms and was in a state if shock when I was told. I could easily have went into a depression but I was determined that I was going to beat this. I wasn't going to put my family through another worrying time, worrying about me. I went through 8 months of chemo. I attended hospital every 2 weeks and work inbetween appointments. I was determined that cancer was not going to take over my life. I watched people in my ward with a negative outlook and watched them spiralling into depression. It was inevitable the sadest things I've witnessed. Please stay positive. I'm 1 year in remission and have so much to live for. Don't let cancer take away the person you were.